finding that spark

i was sick, so forgive me for being so moody. my last post was so emo. i guess id have to make bawi (tss. conyo shit) with some emo stuff too.

sorry. i wasn't thinking. im moody when im sick and you know that. you know how i am. basta. next time im sick, give me more attention. i promise, ill be that pathetic but SWEET (not grouchy anymore) bed-ridden loser waiting for your call the next time something like that happens. you make me happy, i hope you know that.
on other matters.....

i was talking to my dearest friend awhile ago. we talked about how hard it is to ignore the feeling of boredom when you're in a serious, long term relationship. reality slap people, it can be boring at a certain point, but that doesn't mean that everything has to end at that moment. steadiness is part of the whole relationship idea. that's what i learned from my dear aidz. he said that if a person's not willing to be steady with another person, then there's no point in continuing the relationship. when you get restless after 2 years of being together, then you'll definitely gonna be more restless 3, or even 10, years more. being steady has its ups. it makes you become more comfortable and safe with each other. it allows you to have someone as an easy outlet for whatever emotion it is you're having. in truth, being in a steady relationship makes you feel more confident too. blah blah blah.

i sometimes wonder if steadiness is the reason why there are commitment phobic people. i dont get them actually, how can you be scared of commitment when you havent given it a shot with that person? no relationship is the same, so why generalize love right? who knows, that next one might be the one.

the solution to boredom? find different ways of expressing your deep love for each other. this one's tricky. sab and i have been trying to look for perfect solutions for couples, but some are just so hard to actualize. so, here's what we've thought of as of now:
1. try a new sport together. (it works! its even fun when you're both competitive)
2. eat/go somewhere you dont usually go to. (being in a new environment gives you that 'we just had a different experience today' kind of feeling)
3. get drunk together. (there are lots of fun stuff you can do when you're wasted!)
4. renovate each other's rooms (well... )
5. go somewhere far and exciting
6. do the unusual (do things for him that you do not normally do. in my case, i have been dreaming of that day when i actually cook aidz that meal he's been long been wanting. sad to say, i dont cook AT ALL. maybe someday)
7. talk for hours about anything under the sun. phone conversations are definitely a no-no. its a lot more meaningful when you're together.
8. go wacky! do crazy stuff together like dance in the middle of who cares where. (ok, so im the only one who does that. its fun, try it.)


found this one in my Theology131 book:
It is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love; real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real lvoe occurs in a context in which the feeling of lvoe is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don't feel loving. Real love is permanently self-enlarging experience. Falling inlove is not - M. Scott Peck