He is so back!

Elliot Yamin!!

I just can't let this day pass without giving him credit. He is so hot with that "Im a neanderthal" look! Who would have thought?! Seriously, I can't believe he's back!

He's one of the few people in AI with a pure and humble heart that's why it's so nice to see him really make it in the music industry! (unlike those old contestants who would bet on their lives just to prove to the world that they'll make it big after being booted off the show but ages after, still no single from them!) I love love love Yamin! Remember his grandma? Or was it his mom? Either way, I love her too.

Didn't see it coming, swear. Katherine McPhee and Chris Daughtry would be automatic stars but Elliot? Wow! The moment he sang on AI, I got my laptop and downloaded it! It's the very first time I've ever done that while watching the show. I didn't do it when Kelly Pickler sang.

I guess dreams do come true to some people. Good for them! Good for that cutie Elliot! I will so support him, I swear.

Three posts in one day. Oh wow. Bored as hell.

I Take It Back

Everything I've said on the previous post, I take it all back.

I am not living the life that I want. I want the best of both worlds. In fact, I always do. But norms, values, and all that crap tell me I can't. Why can't I just be happy with everything? Why do I have to be happy on one side, and depressed on the other? People think I've mastered the art of living two lives. Contrary to popular belief, I still consider myself an amateur. I don't wanna get used to spending my life divided.

It's your laughter that won't let me go. God.

I don't wanna be everyone's "favorite mistake". Im tired of that. I wanna be someone good to them. Now everything's so wrong. I feel so bad. As in really.

God, I feel like Meredith: dark and twisty.

I still wanna be Tori Amos though. I wanna be free from all this and do everything without people telling me I've gotten out of my mind.

A Sorta Fairytale

While waiting for Vir for lunch awhile ago, I overheard two friends talking. They were both a little old but from the way they sat, talked, and laughed, it was very evident that they were pretty strong and still energetic for their age.

Girl: "Nakakainis my kids! They kept on calling and calling! They're now in America living the lives that they wanted. They wanted to be independent and so I finally let them go. For once I want to live my own life. Now that Im pretty old, Id like to travel! I want to go places and I have enough money for it! I have provided all my kids their own houses in La Vista and in the US and now all I want is a condo where I can relax everytime I go home from a vacation. I need one, you know!"

Boy: "Then I'll go with you! Punta tayo Milan next week you want?"

Girl: "Sige!"

They didn't seem like lovers to me. They just looked like two old friends who have remained that way since forever. I would love that too.

Im happy Im living my life the way I want it to be right now. There might be little disappointments on the side, but at least I get to live my life the way I want it to be. I don't want to grow old and imagine the what couldve been life. I want to take things slow, absorb every thing that's happening and let it all sink in. I dont want to forget. I dont want to be forgotten.

Look at how free Tori Amos is. She's such a goddess. I love her

A Certain Romance

The point's that there ain't no romance around there, and there's the truth that they can't see. They'd probably like to throw a punch at me and if you could only see them, then you would agree that there ain't no romance around there.

They'll never listen 'cause their minds are made up and, OF COURSE, it's all okay to carry on that way

Over there there's broken bones, and it don't take no Sherlock Holmes to see it's a little different.

I should have said:
No! Oh no!
Well you won't get me to go!
Not anywhere, not anywhere
No I won't go

But as expected, I didn't.

Over there there's friends of mine. What can I say, I've known 'em for a long long time and yah, they might overstep the line but I just cannot get angry in the same way.


Wish me luck. I'll be going to some place I know I'll be too uncomfortable to even talk. Guardian angel, be with me tonight.

Caring is creepy

One minute we're the best of friends, or so others assume we are, next minute we can't bear seeing each other. It's never gonna end, huh? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother reaching out. It's so useless that from now on, I'd rather do my own pedicure and manicure than reach out to you guys. And to think I hate doing that.


I do deserve pretty things because.. well I just do. I'm your fucking daughter for crying out loud! I have the right to leech from your so-called riches and use it to my advantage in any way possible. But do I actually get to have that luxury? Sige, fine, sometimes. But when you compare my status with Bobby's, or Patricia's even, God, you wouldn't even consider me part of the family anymore! I swear. I was jealous before but now, I don't even know what to feel. I hope I'm that jaded but I'm still not.

Pucha, SO WHAT. Fine, buy Bobby his second car. Fine, give him my new laptop 'cause you think he needs it more than I do. Go ahead, looks like he's missing out on a lot of things anyway. I'm happy being the person you don't text anymore. I'm happy that I get to go to anywhere I want to, whenever I want to. I'm finally free from you guys. Finally.

This is so relaxing. Weird.

Long live comfort in strangeness! I want you.