Karen 101

Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people's lives have you been in? Were you a part of someone's life when their dreams came true? Or were you there when their dreams died? Did you keep trying to get in, as if you were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shock take you by surprise? Just think, you'd be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it.

They say you could tell a person by looking at the group she's in. Let's see. I have my highschool friends: Ning, Mar, Ecai, Chai, Dior, Diana, and Jack. Not to mention my other high school friends Icay, Janis, Rej, Nash, Melo, IV4, my batch, plus my EXs. Being with them brings me back to so many incomparable moments. I call them my happy girls for it's only with them that I get to laugh that hard. I have my Ateneo people: JM, Alex, Chocho, Wenki, Jen, Chris, Dian, and Inigo. I love these gorgeous people to death. I call them my fab darlings. They have the most expensive and fab stuff most of the time, but their happiness come from the simplest of things. I have the You and Me, or so I thought I had them. I hope I still do. They're Aidz, Eli, Bok, Taker, Fred, Moch, Doms, JP, Drei, JC, etc. I call them my steady people because literally, they are steady people. I have my MC family: Thea, Pat, Ley, Roca, Moya, Piper, Vir, Keith, Gaf, Karla, Kharmi, etc. I call them my good-times people because with them, even the bad times become good. I have my cousins with whom I feel most comfortable with. They're my go-to people because they usually know when to save me, even when I don't ask for their help. Plus I have my other special friends: Sab, Anji, Wax, Jodie, Tiffy, etc. My heart will always have a space for them.

So there. Those are my possies. They are all totally different and yet I can relate to them all. Who I am then?! Does one group think of me differently than the other? I hope not for I try to be as consistent as possible.

I am Ma. Katrina Sillador Sangalang. Some people call me Karen, close friends call me Kar. I hate it when they call me Kat, the You and Me call me Ka. I am supposed to be 21 years old, but my mind and actions say I'm not. I live at New Manila, one of my favorite places in Quezon City. I've been here since I was in 2nd Grade and I doubt that we'll be moving to another house anytime soon. I don't have a lot of childhood memories, although memories from high school up to the present keep me contented. I have my immediate family who, I believe, hasn't seen the real me yet. What and how they think of me is totally different from who I really am. I am not trying to sound like a rebel here, I'm just misunderstood by them, that's all. Despite all the family drama crap though, I love them to death. Always have, always will. I treasure all my friends and I try to keep conflicts away from me as much as possible. I hate confrontations. I hate losing friends. I try to maintain good relationships with the people I meet.

St. John Child Care Center was where I had my first set of friends. I transferred to St. Theresa's College after. Eleven wonderful years of my life were spent there. It's where I grew up, basically. It will always be my home. Went to Ateneo de Mla University after high school. How I wish I went to La Salle instead. I transferred to Miriam College after three grueling years in ADMU. I've always been smart in school although my attitude and my way of thinking towards school sometimes pull me down. I am finally starting to accept that I am oftentimes irresponsible. I am starting to change, by the way. From now on, less parties and more schoolwork for me.

I worked for Tyler part-time last semester and I loved every minute of it. Even though I was complaining and whining and cursing during the latter part of my contract, I knew then that I still love what I was doing. I love the people. They are all fab. I miss Ida, Na, Abby, Nina, Di, Reg, Lala, Sidney, Warner, Georgia, and Sugar.

I've had eight (or nine?) serious relationships in my life. I've cheated on all of them and I've never been proud of it. I loved them all despite all the lies, I hope they know that. I still do actually. All the people with whom I've shared my life with are wonderful, amazing people and I wish them all the best. They will always be special to me.

I was always the biggest fan of love. That makes me wonder sometimes if that may be the reason why I oftentimes take and take and take love without thinking of the consequences of my actions. I want to make one thing clear though: I never cheated just so another person could fill in for the shortcomings of the other. It was never that way. I just didn't know how and when to limit myself from loving. I love the people I loved for who they are and that was enough. We all had our shortcomings but that was never a reason for me to cheat.

I love to be surrounded by people. I hate it when I'm home. I'd rather be alone smoking, or reading a book, or doing nothing at Starbucks than be stuck at home watching TV. Being around people, especially by the people I love, gives me that unexplainable high. I was never the introvert type, obviously. Oh, I won the Most Friendly award when I was in Preschool. Wala lang. Haha!

I am funny and I know it. It's a wonderful gift that I got from my dad. It's amazing how with just one word, you can make the whole group laugh their hearts out. I love making people laugh. It's like therapy.

I used to drink moderately but sadly, its been beer all day, everyday. I'm not proud of that too. It's because of that excessive drinking that I've been trying to watch what I eat now. I've been gaining a lot of pounds and I hate it. I hate that I'm trying to go on a pseudo strict diet right now. It's so not me. I love to eat. I love food. I love love love Chinese food, fast food, Japanese food, Italian, Spanish, American, even street food, heck I love them all. Except for veggies, of course. I don't eat vegetables. Oh and I don't eat dinuguan.

I hate people who act and think like they rule the world and that they're so much better than everybody else. They are all losers, in my opinion. I don't get mad that easily and if I actually do get mad at someone, that person won't ever notice. Unless of course that person knows me by heart already.

I smoke a lot. I wish I could cut down but I'm not that determined so maybe next year will be the year I"ll lessen my excessive intake of nicotine. I want to quit smoking when I'm thirty. I have to.

I hate snakes. Even typing the word gives me the creeps. All snakes should be eradicated from Earth.

I am a brat. I am crabby most of the time. I am moody when I wake up. I usually don't care what other people would think of me. I do what I want all the time. I am hard headed. According to Jacq, I'm the most spoiled person she has ever met. According to a friend, I am the most flirtatious though I doubt that I am. I am just friendly. People say I'm sweet and endearing. Close friends know I'm a backstabber. I can't keep a secret. I try my best to keep other people's secrets but sometimes, I just have to tell it to someone.

I listen to almost all types of music. I hate Gregorian chants. I listen to Pop when I'm in a good mood. I listen to r&b and hiphop when I want to dance. I listen to Eraserheads when I'm depressed. I listen to sappy songs when I'm heartbroken. I listen to sappy songs when it's raining. I listen to Alternative when I'm jolly. I am not a rock person but I love Alternative music, contrary to popular beliefs. I love Alternative songs. They don't bombard the lyrics with the words I love you, yet you could still feel the intensity of love in the song.

Movies are my stress relievers. TV Series are the second on my list. I adore One Tree Hill, I love Grey's Anatomy. I used to watch NipTuck and Lost. I might like Heroes. I don't know yet, I'll start watching it next week.

I am always driven by my passion. I see to it that I do what I love and that I excel in it. I was never happy with my course in Ateneo. Three years in Economics, imagine that. I love love love my course in Miriam College now. Marketing is the perfect choice. It's my perfect choice. It's who I really am and I believe that it's what I was destined to take. At least I hope it is.

Someday, when I become insanely rich, I will have my own Advertising Empire. I will donate money to charity. Heck, I'll even start my own foundation for abused women and for children. I will buy my own dolphins and God knows how much I will love them. I will buy all the clothes, shoes, bags, and accessories that I want. I will travel all over the world with my family. I will make sure that my children get to see wonderful things.

I could go on and on blabbing about myself and yet, for some reason, I still wouldn't know who I really am.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is Kar after all?