edwin jan gamboa tan
we now have this big space between us. sad but true. he's been my dearest bestfriend ever since me and aidz became a couple. the rest was history.
close. nah. super close. we were, and still are, super close. dont really know whats happening now but its really fucking depressing when i think of it. weve been irritating each other constantly with our own set of hirits. tsk tsk tsk. damn those hirits.
we give each other little things. little things that matter. he might not know it but everything he gave me, i appreciate them all. i could call him my dear hero (gawd such terms!). my savior (gotta let me be with my terms, really. even i feel weird using them). if i have to name every bit of favor he did for me, damn, i could write for hours and i guess i still wont be able to mention everything. no kidding. here's a few. ^one tear from my eye and its him i call. he might not give me the best of advices but he sure could listen. ^breakup=eli. in a good way that is. he helped fix every breakup i had with aidz. ^he would treat me most of the time. though there are times when he would complain about the treating thing, he'd still do it. i love that he spoils me. he better! I SPOIL HIM TOO! (he better know that!) haha! kidding aside, i love that he's always there for me. one text that im sad and he'd go to where i am. he'd give those out of this world ideas (but hey, they actually make sense). he would always explain the guys' point of view especially when me and aidz are fighting over some pathetic thing that i (as expected) started.
i keep on thinking why we fight most of the time now. its like everything i say is a way of attacking him. so not true. why is it that a lot of the things i tell him now offends him? its never my intention to hurt his feelings. really. well if i really did hurt him, im sorry. he hurts me with his hirits too. but i let them pass even if im really hurt by them. i may smile at them but im fuckin hurt deep inside. i know they're just for laughs but there are times when i really get so paranoid by them na. i just wish he'd stop those. how i wish he'd let my hirits just pass too. when you really think about it, its kinda pathetic.
it sucks that were like this. it sucks even more that i have to write something like this. i really miss hanging out with him. yosi. inom. bum. kain. laugh trip. deep shit usap. and the likes. you get the picture.
li if you're reading this, i miss you. lets stop all this na. isnt it killing you? its obviously killing me. i miss night outs with you, me, bubba dear, and bok.
memories all alone in the moonlight
Monday, June 13, 2005
Friday, June 10, 2005
Taker.Michael Acosta
well well well, due to popular demand (popular = taker), here's an ode to my dear friend Taker Acosta.
where to start? taker's this one diverse person so hard to describe i dont even know where to begin.
Taker = Laughter
he's one hellava funny guy. no really. he is. first time i met him, i never expected him to be quite the joker. thought of him as a really serious guy pa nga e. but as time passed by, pucha he sure could deliver those jokes! well enough to make me laugh even if he's only about to say something (joke man or not). right now, we're becoming close because of some inside jokes. haha. funny when we look at each other and know for sure what to laugh at already. tsk tsk tsk. bad but funny. thumbs up to ur funniness! u could do ur own stand-up comedy thing and for sure alex wouldnt stop laughing (like kanina)...
Taker = Theater Arts
there's this connection between taker's funniness to acting. they go perfectly together. when he delivers jokes, he makes sure that there's this im-not-trying-to-pull-a-joke kinda expression on his face. that actually makes the joke even funnier.
Taker = Bum
yup. he's an official self-proclaimed bum. hehe he loves bumming at katipunan with us. occasional smoker and hard drinker. right taker?
Taker = Cleanliness
you could never throw something improperly when you're with him. theres no chance in hell he'd let you throw trash improperly. take it from me. had one of his lectures about that before. grabe.
Taker = Loving
oh yeah. senti to. saw him love na. he did pretty well. period.
Taker = Sporty
he could shoot some hoops (oha ayos ba sa terms?) and play badminton really well! badminton buddy ko to. plus some other people. haha. oh and he loves playing basketball with "the carpenters". go taker "the baker!"
Taker = Friend
its been now lang since i really had the chance to know him as a friend. u know what i mean. we never had the chance to talk before. as in ung real, serious talk about life and the shit. i appreciate those talks actually.
Taker = Friend of Bubba
okay so i just have to put this. haha. taker is the good friend of my dear aidz!
Taker = Kewl
moccasins, kewl short shorts and almost knee-high socks are enough to attach the word KEWL to him!
oha taker! do you love it! hahahaha
where to start? taker's this one diverse person so hard to describe i dont even know where to begin.
Taker = Laughter
he's one hellava funny guy. no really. he is. first time i met him, i never expected him to be quite the joker. thought of him as a really serious guy pa nga e. but as time passed by, pucha he sure could deliver those jokes! well enough to make me laugh even if he's only about to say something (joke man or not). right now, we're becoming close because of some inside jokes. haha. funny when we look at each other and know for sure what to laugh at already. tsk tsk tsk. bad but funny. thumbs up to ur funniness! u could do ur own stand-up comedy thing and for sure alex wouldnt stop laughing (like kanina)...
Taker = Theater Arts
there's this connection between taker's funniness to acting. they go perfectly together. when he delivers jokes, he makes sure that there's this im-not-trying-to-pull-a-joke kinda expression on his face. that actually makes the joke even funnier.
Taker = Bum
yup. he's an official self-proclaimed bum. hehe he loves bumming at katipunan with us. occasional smoker and hard drinker. right taker?
Taker = Cleanliness
you could never throw something improperly when you're with him. theres no chance in hell he'd let you throw trash improperly. take it from me. had one of his lectures about that before. grabe.
Taker = Loving
oh yeah. senti to. saw him love na. he did pretty well. period.
Taker = Sporty
he could shoot some hoops (oha ayos ba sa terms?) and play badminton really well! badminton buddy ko to. plus some other people. haha. oh and he loves playing basketball with "the carpenters". go taker "the baker!"
Taker = Friend
its been now lang since i really had the chance to know him as a friend. u know what i mean. we never had the chance to talk before. as in ung real, serious talk about life and the shit. i appreciate those talks actually.
Taker = Friend of Bubba
okay so i just have to put this. haha. taker is the good friend of my dear aidz!
Taker = Kewl
moccasins, kewl short shorts and almost knee-high socks are enough to attach the word KEWL to him!
oha taker! do you love it! hahahaha
no drive?
sabby dear, here's a reply to ur
journal...
i dont think we dont have the drive to do anything. come to think of it, we have all the drive we need to actualize something. watever that something is, we'll eventually find it.
we've done too many brainstormings already. from becoming party planners to sellers to networkers even. one thing's for sure, we're craving for something that would actually make us famous, elitista posers even. just wait. our time will come!
we're such bums we could do something productive with our oh-so-prolonged time. we just need to act on things. we gotta stop being such bums and start making something creative, fun, funky and cool!.. just like us! haha!
cant wait
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
killing me softly with boredom
boredom is slowly YET SURELY taking the fun out of me. im terribly unbelievably scourgingly helplessly bored!
went out with aidz yesterday to watch sin city. it was actually good! still cant get over the fact that i want aidz to call me goldy.. haha HOW I LOVE GOLDY! went to sab's place after. who else could i count on when it comes to bumness anyway? (right sab?!) we went to ukay ukay. i had to. i mean i needed to. i needed a new jacket!. hey, if other girls love their shoes, i love my jackets! cant seem to be contented with all that i have. would that make me a sinner now?! i just gotta buy a new one everytime even if its from ukay lang. thats my weakness right there, so buzz off you judgmental people!
when i got home from ukay, total boredom once again! gawd cant people just turn their houses into something more fun so that less teenagers would wanna go out?!?! i just couldnt take the boredom i get at home. its just too much. good thing eli called around 10pm i think. at around 12am, he and taker were on their way to my house. went to bubba's house after. when we got there, we did what 85% of us would normally do at home..... watch TV. we upgraded ours. we watched DVDS. wow like thats such a big thing.. ya ya so it was another bum night (midnight pala) but at least i had people with me to do that! went home around 3.30am
TODAY IS A FREAKIN BORING DAY. i stayed home the whole time! tssssss okay so its not like the end of the world but its definitely close! the freakin problem is that i couldnt do anything about it! no money, more problem! i cant go anywhere! pucha
dont get me wrong here. im not as "maalis" or "gala" as you think. just couldnt stay inside my house. hard to explain.
fuck sab. i think i better do my own hello, stranger thing.
went out with aidz yesterday to watch sin city. it was actually good! still cant get over the fact that i want aidz to call me goldy.. haha HOW I LOVE GOLDY! went to sab's place after. who else could i count on when it comes to bumness anyway? (right sab?!) we went to ukay ukay. i had to. i mean i needed to. i needed a new jacket!. hey, if other girls love their shoes, i love my jackets! cant seem to be contented with all that i have. would that make me a sinner now?! i just gotta buy a new one everytime even if its from ukay lang. thats my weakness right there, so buzz off you judgmental people!
when i got home from ukay, total boredom once again! gawd cant people just turn their houses into something more fun so that less teenagers would wanna go out?!?! i just couldnt take the boredom i get at home. its just too much. good thing eli called around 10pm i think. at around 12am, he and taker were on their way to my house. went to bubba's house after. when we got there, we did what 85% of us would normally do at home..... watch TV. we upgraded ours. we watched DVDS. wow like thats such a big thing.. ya ya so it was another bum night (midnight pala) but at least i had people with me to do that! went home around 3.30am
TODAY IS A FREAKIN BORING DAY. i stayed home the whole time! tssssss okay so its not like the end of the world but its definitely close! the freakin problem is that i couldnt do anything about it! no money, more problem! i cant go anywhere! pucha
dont get me wrong here. im not as "maalis" or "gala" as you think. just couldnt stay inside my house. hard to explain.
fuck sab. i think i better do my own hello, stranger thing.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
im such a hypocrite
ok so i take back everything i said AGAIN. i love aidz. even with all his imperfections, i still love him.
li, thanks for comin' over. still know i could always count on you. sorry for the hassle. you know il always love you too! THANKS FOR THE EFFORT
pagaling nako! im gonna get my real life back! no more house bum for me!
goodbye you cruel boring life!
li, thanks for comin' over. still know i could always count on you. sorry for the hassle. you know il always love you too! THANKS FOR THE EFFORT
pagaling nako! im gonna get my real life back! no more house bum for me!
goodbye you cruel boring life!
his sh*t is bananas! b-a-na-na-s!!!!
i now take back everything i said about aidz from my last journal. cant believe he's back to this again. i dont give a damn if he reads this.
ok sa il base our fight from an email i just got awhile ago.
8 WAYS TO HANDLE AN ARGUMENT
1. GIVE YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH SPACE TO VOICE HIS CONCERNS
im gawd damn sick cant u understand aidz? do you even care? im here all alone in my bedroom with nothing to do but blow my brains out with this role of tissue and your first concern is that stupid game of yours? how can you play dota THINKING that your SICK girlfriend is waiting for you! never asked you to come to me yesterday. all i wanted was for you to talk to me. well you did actually but we ended up fighting anyway.
2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
what were you trying to say anyway? look, the fact of the matter is, inuna mo yang dota mo for me and you know that. tapos today, you should have gotten here like half a day ago but nooooo... you slept all the way til 6.30pm! how concerned could you be!? i called like 100 times (both cellphone and landline) but you never answered any call. instead, you asked people to tell me that you were sleeping and that you didnt want to be bothered. wow. congrats.
3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
ok so i did say some nasty things. but hey, of all people, you're the king of that i guess. im sorry. some were meant to tell the truth while some were actually meant to hurt you. i really wanted to hurt you. sad but true. i just want you to feel and understand how much you hurt me. call it payback but im really really sorry. never wanted to hurt you, really.
4. Don't bring in past woes.
oh no! not bringing dota into the conversation is something il regret in the near future so id rather tell it to him over and over again until he realizes his mistakes! fuck i sound like a mother.
5. Learn to compromise.
and i always did. he does too but why cant he compromise now that im sick?
6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
this one's a fact. we're both close minded. but he gets the bigger portion of that. are men really that close minded especially when they know they're wrong? biggest flaw of men: turning the tables around on women, blaming them for the mistakes they know they did.
7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
there's no real conversation with aidz when we're both angry.
8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
how i wish. how i wish
ok sa il base our fight from an email i just got awhile ago.
8 WAYS TO HANDLE AN ARGUMENT
1. GIVE YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH SPACE TO VOICE HIS CONCERNS
im gawd damn sick cant u understand aidz? do you even care? im here all alone in my bedroom with nothing to do but blow my brains out with this role of tissue and your first concern is that stupid game of yours? how can you play dota THINKING that your SICK girlfriend is waiting for you! never asked you to come to me yesterday. all i wanted was for you to talk to me. well you did actually but we ended up fighting anyway.
2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
what were you trying to say anyway? look, the fact of the matter is, inuna mo yang dota mo for me and you know that. tapos today, you should have gotten here like half a day ago but nooooo... you slept all the way til 6.30pm! how concerned could you be!? i called like 100 times (both cellphone and landline) but you never answered any call. instead, you asked people to tell me that you were sleeping and that you didnt want to be bothered. wow. congrats.
3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
ok so i did say some nasty things. but hey, of all people, you're the king of that i guess. im sorry. some were meant to tell the truth while some were actually meant to hurt you. i really wanted to hurt you. sad but true. i just want you to feel and understand how much you hurt me. call it payback but im really really sorry. never wanted to hurt you, really.
4. Don't bring in past woes.
oh no! not bringing dota into the conversation is something il regret in the near future so id rather tell it to him over and over again until he realizes his mistakes! fuck i sound like a mother.
5. Learn to compromise.
and i always did. he does too but why cant he compromise now that im sick?
6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
this one's a fact. we're both close minded. but he gets the bigger portion of that. are men really that close minded especially when they know they're wrong? biggest flaw of men: turning the tables around on women, blaming them for the mistakes they know they did.
7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
there's no real conversation with aidz when we're both angry.
8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
how i wish. how i wish
Friday, June 03, 2005
some things are just for keeps
i hate being sick. my head right now throbs like it would never throb again. my body is weaker than a vegetable. okay so im exaggerating. but i really feel weak. for some reason, i cant eat that much. that sucks by the way. i cant go out. i cant play badminton. basta. it all boils down to one thing.. being sick SUCKS BIG TIME!
when im sick, thats when i actually feel more loved. thats when i feel more special. my mom asked the maid to cook every food i wanted the whole day. when i didnt eat the food i asked for, she had to order food pa. my dad's really concerned as well. everytime i bump into him he's like "are you ok na?" well then. i guess behind all our everyday fights, they really do love me.
aidz. he's such an angel. i tried to make tantrums awhile ago thinking that he wont visit me while im sick. so (as expected) the baby that i am forced me to let him go here and bring me dvds only to find out that he was planning to surprise me tomorrow. wow. thats what i get for being such a baby. ruining everybodys plan. i hatge myself. if only i waited. nevertheless, thank you for the thought bubba! CANT BE MORE THANKFUL FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO...
people can touch you're heart without you actually realizing it.
cheezy ko today. i guess thats another thing when im sick.
when im sick, thats when i actually feel more loved. thats when i feel more special. my mom asked the maid to cook every food i wanted the whole day. when i didnt eat the food i asked for, she had to order food pa. my dad's really concerned as well. everytime i bump into him he's like "are you ok na?" well then. i guess behind all our everyday fights, they really do love me.
aidz. he's such an angel. i tried to make tantrums awhile ago thinking that he wont visit me while im sick. so (as expected) the baby that i am forced me to let him go here and bring me dvds only to find out that he was planning to surprise me tomorrow. wow. thats what i get for being such a baby. ruining everybodys plan. i hatge myself. if only i waited. nevertheless, thank you for the thought bubba! CANT BE MORE THANKFUL FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO...
people can touch you're heart without you actually realizing it.
cheezy ko today. i guess thats another thing when im sick.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
fast paced life of the city
here at sab's place. trapped in this cloud of smoke we all made. im so drowsy. im beginning to create this big pile tissue already. i feel bad. i think im sick. wrong timing talaga ang rain all the time. takas nanaman ako tonight and obviously the rains not cooperating! how am i gonna go home now? bummer. rain rain go away.
its been two days already that i havent had access to kuya willy, our beloved driver. forced then i was to commute. something ive been scared of my whole life. i know its practical. i know its normal. call me maarte but its not really me. but hey, i survived two straight days commuting. to and from school in fact! for some simple reason, i liked it. but i still hate it. weird but true. the feeling of stickiness and the feeling of people so unknown to me and yet very near me really sucks. though the feeling of independence overwhelms me. i could try it again and again but it shouldnt be a regular thing. id get so bummed out by then.
gotta talk to sab now.
its been two days already that i havent had access to kuya willy, our beloved driver. forced then i was to commute. something ive been scared of my whole life. i know its practical. i know its normal. call me maarte but its not really me. but hey, i survived two straight days commuting. to and from school in fact! for some simple reason, i liked it. but i still hate it. weird but true. the feeling of stickiness and the feeling of people so unknown to me and yet very near me really sucks. though the feeling of independence overwhelms me. i could try it again and again but it shouldnt be a regular thing. id get so bummed out by then.
gotta talk to sab now.
Monday, May 30, 2005
even the best fall down sometimes
ive always thought the world is mine. not literally, of course. ive always had this idea that i could do anything i want, when i want it. nah. all crap. with all the bitching and harshness this worlds got to offer, i dont think i can. i dont think anyone can for that matter. save me from all your negative comments. according to jacq, we gotta be realistic nowadays. here i am pouring some of my frustrations out.
i envy a lot of people who actually live by their dreams. i guess reality was an asset than a liability to them. such luck. bubba's dad started from scratch and looking at where he is now, grabe, so surreal! or that girl i read in cosmo ages ago. she started out as a factory worker but because of her hardwork, she was able to make herself worth millions now. adore them , i do. HOW I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THEM. i will be. soon. but my advertising company has to wait for now. til that time comes, i guess id have to keep on falling down that pit that a lot of people before me have gone to.
to fall is to go down. for some people, falling is the start of their unexpected journey. thats the hardest part. even in relationships. falling for the person is the start of another rocky road part of your life. not that im complaining. its actually pretty good for a person, right?
how i love falling for someone. ok so i may have SOME issues when it comes to falling for only one person at a time but i think with aidz, ive "proven" myself worthy of being part of the stick-to-one gang. uhhhuuuhhh.
going back, everybody falls. noone escapes from the fall. even those jaded ones. i dont even think those jaded people are actually done with love. no no no! they may be resting (what the?). but eventually, they wont be able to stop themselves from falling. they say theyre done with love but theyre just waiting for it.
my advice? dont be afraid to fall not just in love but in anything for that matter. hey, even the best fall down sometimes..... even the stars refuse to shine... out of the back you'll fall in time.
gotta sleep. insomia is taking out the best of me already. no coherence anymore.
i envy a lot of people who actually live by their dreams. i guess reality was an asset than a liability to them. such luck. bubba's dad started from scratch and looking at where he is now, grabe, so surreal! or that girl i read in cosmo ages ago. she started out as a factory worker but because of her hardwork, she was able to make herself worth millions now. adore them , i do. HOW I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THEM. i will be. soon. but my advertising company has to wait for now. til that time comes, i guess id have to keep on falling down that pit that a lot of people before me have gone to.
to fall is to go down. for some people, falling is the start of their unexpected journey. thats the hardest part. even in relationships. falling for the person is the start of another rocky road part of your life. not that im complaining. its actually pretty good for a person, right?
how i love falling for someone. ok so i may have SOME issues when it comes to falling for only one person at a time but i think with aidz, ive "proven" myself worthy of being part of the stick-to-one gang. uhhhuuuhhh.
going back, everybody falls. noone escapes from the fall. even those jaded ones. i dont even think those jaded people are actually done with love. no no no! they may be resting (what the?). but eventually, they wont be able to stop themselves from falling. they say theyre done with love but theyre just waiting for it.
my advice? dont be afraid to fall not just in love but in anything for that matter. hey, even the best fall down sometimes..... even the stars refuse to shine... out of the back you'll fall in time.
gotta sleep. insomia is taking out the best of me already. no coherence anymore.
Friday, May 27, 2005
blankness
uhh. pathetic. i feel so pathetic. its been what, 2 days that ive been blogging more than once a day. i feel like a loser. supposed to go out tonight but the bum in me told me not to go anymore. im so fucking lazy even im irritated by it. yada yada yada. i really have to exert more effort in this.
backtrack.
played badminton today. ooohhhh finally i have something to label as my sport. finally. im getting better everytime.. i hope. played with drei taker and dian. eli japee and raymond showed up at the very last minute.
oh and i went to the ever-so-poser school we all call Miriam College. grabe. their systems so bulok they had to ask me to go back almost everyday for the past 3 damn days just because they erased some of my files! such a system. i better burn everything down so i could go back to ateneo, or at least la salle. yeah, i think i gotta do that.
yada yada yada. tangna i feel so useless right now. i shouldnt have been tamad. i shouldve gone with dian and drei. now im here infront of my laptop talking about useless shit.
well i guess i better call it a day. its 4.36am for crying out loud! tsk tsk tsk
so now you see the blankness.
im off to slumberland. see you there bub
backtrack.
played badminton today. ooohhhh finally i have something to label as my sport. finally. im getting better everytime.. i hope. played with drei taker and dian. eli japee and raymond showed up at the very last minute.
oh and i went to the ever-so-poser school we all call Miriam College. grabe. their systems so bulok they had to ask me to go back almost everyday for the past 3 damn days just because they erased some of my files! such a system. i better burn everything down so i could go back to ateneo, or at least la salle. yeah, i think i gotta do that.
yada yada yada. tangna i feel so useless right now. i shouldnt have been tamad. i shouldve gone with dian and drei. now im here infront of my laptop talking about useless shit.
well i guess i better call it a day. its 4.36am for crying out loud! tsk tsk tsk
so now you see the blankness.
im off to slumberland. see you there bub
summer's over
FUCK
summers finally over.
rain keeps falling on my head
havent been out that much yet. a person can never have too many vacations, right? too bad for me there's no way in hell am i getting some last minute beach outing. its raining like hell sometimes that you can really feel the rainy season suddenly sinking in.
i hate rain
rain is like one of my worst nightmares. it forces me to stay at home and bum by myself. no people, no fun. so damn you rain!
seduction style
Your Seduction Style: The Charmer |
 You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them! |
collide
this one's for ya li! *****on our way to capones*****
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
out
SHOUTOUT!
grabe, its been awhile since i last went out. finally! the feeling of having a lot of people around you having the same excitement (or so i think) as you have really makes you crave more and more. as they say, feel the beat
actually, its been awhile since i last went out with dian eli and bub. damn. fun fun fun! I MISSED EVERYBODY ESPECIALLY ELI. for some sort of reason, our friendships back. we've been irritating each other (i think) for the past weeks and it irritates me more. oh well. were nice to each other again. haha. love oou pseudo karaoke last night inside his car.
to dian my love, everythings gonna be alright! i know they will! KAW PA!
thanks for the night. IM REALLY GONNA MISS U LOTSA LOTS! grabe... i cant even think of nightouts without you. dian = party! hihihihihihi
bubba! love you! hihi la lang
grabe, its been awhile since i last went out. finally! the feeling of having a lot of people around you having the same excitement (or so i think) as you have really makes you crave more and more. as they say, feel the beat
actually, its been awhile since i last went out with dian eli and bub. damn. fun fun fun! I MISSED EVERYBODY ESPECIALLY ELI. for some sort of reason, our friendships back. we've been irritating each other (i think) for the past weeks and it irritates me more. oh well. were nice to each other again. haha. love oou pseudo karaoke last night inside his car.
to dian my love, everythings gonna be alright! i know they will! KAW PA!
thanks for the night. IM REALLY GONNA MISS U LOTSA LOTS! grabe... i cant even think of nightouts without you. dian = party! hihihihihihi
bubba! love you! hihi la lang
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
bang
Talk
finally. i faced one of the so-called consequence if my irresponsibility. grabe! i had to pay Php2000 just for two unreturned vcds! hay.... well overdue na naman ung disks since feb so i guess i really deserve that kind of punishment. i even had to withdraw money from the bank since i didnt have enough (well more of i didnt have anything at all) money awhile ago. tsk tsk tsk. the price i pay for being irresponsible. i believe theres more to come. shit.
after that, me and saby went to bang coffee. i looovveee it there! grabe it had wifi na, nice place pa! love there restrooms too. haha! i love the place sobra.. obviously.
as usual, sab and i talked about different things. just like our other conversations, we eventually talked about doing business together. well, our plans before never really evolved into what we call reality but our idea just hours ago is a sure hit! plus... whats different this time is that were gonna really push through with it.. or so i think lang... haha! but our drive to do it is a start!
Think
If a relationship ends because the person was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no you
can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend. ----- SEX AND THE CITY
finally. i faced one of the so-called consequence if my irresponsibility. grabe! i had to pay Php2000 just for two unreturned vcds! hay.... well overdue na naman ung disks since feb so i guess i really deserve that kind of punishment. i even had to withdraw money from the bank since i didnt have enough (well more of i didnt have anything at all) money awhile ago. tsk tsk tsk. the price i pay for being irresponsible. i believe theres more to come. shit.
after that, me and saby went to bang coffee. i looovveee it there! grabe it had wifi na, nice place pa! love there restrooms too. haha! i love the place sobra.. obviously.
as usual, sab and i talked about different things. just like our other conversations, we eventually talked about doing business together. well, our plans before never really evolved into what we call reality but our idea just hours ago is a sure hit! plus... whats different this time is that were gonna really push through with it.. or so i think lang... haha! but our drive to do it is a start!
Think
If a relationship ends because the person was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no you
can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend. ----- SEX AND THE CITY
Monday, May 23, 2005
yosi overdose
tangna im so bored. two entries in a matter of four hours i think. its 330 already and im still pissed off. i hate computer games. i especially guys' addiction to them. i more specifically hate my bub's addiction to them. cant help it. i become this oh-so-lolaish person to him when we talk about his comp game addiction. haaayyyy.....
selfish. yah thats me. but so what. haha!
gotta stop my non sense chit chats with my laptop. the more i think about this topic the more i get pissed off. but who wouldnt? oh... here i go again..
gotta stop!
selfish. yah thats me. but so what. haha!
gotta stop my non sense chit chats with my laptop. the more i think about this topic the more i get pissed off. but who wouldnt? oh... here i go again..
gotta stop!
queer eye for the girl
DAMN. i need a makeover....
i need not a physical makeover (well maybe i do) but a more of an inside and out kind.... i need something that could turn my life into something meaningful, responsible, and productive. i need something that could make me realize the reality of everything -- that whatever i do, i just couldnt get everything i want.
ive always been in this stage of denial. a stage where i used to think that i could get away with everything and anything (?)like with my expenses, i tend to overspend on things even if i dont really have enough resources for them. with my stupidity, i tend to lie a lot not thinking of the consequences when i get caught. take it from me, one lie could lead to another, bigger lie. damn.
now im bombarded with all these problems that i should have dealt with a long time ago. karma. damn that. damn me. i better know how to make up for everything lost. i better gain something fast! i need a makeover!
i am barely breathing and i cant find the air.
ive come to find. i may never know.
i need not a physical makeover (well maybe i do) but a more of an inside and out kind.... i need something that could turn my life into something meaningful, responsible, and productive. i need something that could make me realize the reality of everything -- that whatever i do, i just couldnt get everything i want.
ive always been in this stage of denial. a stage where i used to think that i could get away with everything and anything (?)like with my expenses, i tend to overspend on things even if i dont really have enough resources for them. with my stupidity, i tend to lie a lot not thinking of the consequences when i get caught. take it from me, one lie could lead to another, bigger lie. damn.
now im bombarded with all these problems that i should have dealt with a long time ago. karma. damn that. damn me. i better know how to make up for everything lost. i better gain something fast! i need a makeover!
i am barely breathing and i cant find the air.
ive come to find. i may never know.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
bulacan
thoughtstrust. hard to give, hard to receive. ive been thinkin a lot about this simple word for days now. its so astonishing how one short word could end up making or breaking a lot of people's relationships. i, for one, have a problem with trust (but hey, im working on it). it just seems like with the kind of culture we have today, kids like me (yeah im still a kid!), tend to do things differently. some cheat on their loved ones. some lie to their parents (hmmmm). some lie to their friends. its everywhere! haaayyyy... the moment u give ur trust to a person, the more u become attached.
i used to cheat. a lot actually. but now that im with someone i really love, i just cant even think of doing it again. not now, at least. if i break his trust, then its gonna be hard for me to get it back again. so as to other relationships. i have this friend who once told me... "its hard to trust coz there's nothing sure in this world anymore"... true true.. but i believe its really up to us to prove that there is actually somethin trustworthy in this world of lies and deception.
eventswhata coincidence! im gonna go to bulacan later for the fiesta...just like last year, we're gonna go to ning's place. what's different this year is that my bubba is comin as well to bulacan with eli. they have a wedding to attend to. i hope they grab the chance to meet up with me and ning later around dinner time. damn im excited already!
BUB's birthday is coming up. got him two gifts already. im gonna buy him another one later. hope he'll like it. uhhhhh..... im excited for that as well! waiting for monday gives me the chills! we something for him. hope he likes it!
i used to cheat. a lot actually. but now that im with someone i really love, i just cant even think of doing it again. not now, at least. if i break his trust, then its gonna be hard for me to get it back again. so as to other relationships. i have this friend who once told me... "its hard to trust coz there's nothing sure in this world anymore"... true true.. but i believe its really up to us to prove that there is actually somethin trustworthy in this world of lies and deception.
eventswhata coincidence! im gonna go to bulacan later for the fiesta...just like last year, we're gonna go to ning's place. what's different this year is that my bubba is comin as well to bulacan with eli. they have a wedding to attend to. i hope they grab the chance to meet up with me and ning later around dinner time. damn im excited already!
BUB's birthday is coming up. got him two gifts already. im gonna buy him another one later. hope he'll like it. uhhhhh..... im excited for that as well! waiting for monday gives me the chills! we something for him. hope he likes it!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Thursday, May 12, 2005
amber
it seems that when we fall, that's when we land perfectly
love. i learned, and still is learning, about love through my past (and current) relationships. having bad experiences, i believe, are actually better than not having one at all. its better to be hurt so you'll know how to deal with it the next time u fall in love, right?
lust. damn. haha
friends. the true test of friendship is not based on the length of time you were with the person. trust me, ive had these so-called friends for years and yet i can never trust them with my life. real friends are hard to distinguish from the pseudo ones but when i have the feeling that they're real to me, then i never let go.
family. no comment
school. ive fallen. real hard actually. now its time for me to get back up and make up for all the mistakes. (asus! im such a poser!)
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