A Thank You

I have never questioned Friendship until now. It sucks 'cause just when you think you're at that time in your life when you already have a set of friends you think of as dependable, trustworthy, and loving, something happens and you just can't do anything about it but cry.

So before fate surprises me again, I'll take this chance to thank my angels.


TAKER: Thank you for being the only friend in the You and Me group who actually cares. You're the one who constantly checks up on me. You reassured to me that there are still friends capable of proving the real essence of friendship. I love you for being you. When you think I'm selfish, you tell it straight to my face. When you think I'm getting fatter, you say it. When you think I'm pretty, you say it. (Wahaha) I'm planning to keep you for the rest of my life, whether you like it or not. Thank you. You don't know how much I need people like you in my life. I love you.

MAR ans NING: My dear bestfriends. Even if we don't see each other that often, I know nothing changes. THAT'S HOW TRUE FRIENDS ARE TESTED. Even with all the separation, everything's just the same the next time you see each other. You guys give the right advices all the time, I admire you for knowing a person too much.

JACQ: Quality and Quantity! People tried to tear us apart, we both know that. I was mad at you for a time but you never left my side. We tolerate each other but when it comes down to us getting caught with anything we've done, we're not like other people who just leave their friends hanging and not feeling sorry for anything. We're one in a million. You're one in a million, even when we don't agree on a lot of things. I love you for being you because you're unique, and not misunderstood.

MC People: You guys light up my life. You never fail to make me smile, especially when I'm totally down. Together, we may not be the most mature people, but we do know know how to treasure everyone who's in the group. You guys will always be my rainbow.

ANJI: We have been friends since Grade School and my God, we never change! When together, we can talk about anything and everything! It's nice that we're closer again. I missed you..

MOCH: Thank you for always listening to all sides of any story. You were never biased. You know what's right and what's wrong. I can always run to you, we both know that. Thank you for always making me feel safe when I'm with you. Come to think of it, even when I'm not with you, I still feel safe knowing you're my friend.

TIFF: For always listening, thank you. You've been always there for me. Haha I was laughing really hard the other night. Sobrang senti ko yata sayo the other day. You know, the whole "Tiff, I'm sorry ek-ek" Don't get me wrong though, I meant everything I said to you. I always do. I hope you're happy.

MOYA, THEA, VIR, TETEL, AMP, DIVI, PAT: The new faces. Haha. You guys have been with me everyday during those moments when I needed someone to hold me and keep me strong enough to get Aidz back. Thank you for keeping me sane. I love you all.

MY COUSINS: It's so rare that you see cousins who are also close friends. I'm happy we're close. I've been missing the Sunday get togethers because of the damn work but I hope you know I would be doing anything to be with you guys again if I can. Babawi din ako. Anais, thanks for listening even if you were so bothered that day at Cantina.

AIDZ: You'll always be one of my best friends. Thank you for giving me another chance to prove myself. I love you, I always will.


There's never a right time to say goodbye, but I'm gonna try. Goodbye to you who I thought was my dear friend. I'm starting a new life, and much as I want you to be there, I simply can't because my heart's still not willing enough.

Crash and Burn

I just did the biggest mistake of my life.

They say love is all about trust, loyalty, honesty. Guess I screwed that up big time. But Bub, I was in a very low point in my life. It was so wrong. I was so selfish not to think of what you might think. Or react. Or feel. God, I really wasn't thinking then.

I am sorry. I've never meant the word sorry like this, so please, just take it.

It's gonna be hard for me to let you leave cause frankly, it's worse than dying. It was all so sudden. One phone call and it's all over. I can't lose you now, but I understand.

Call me whatever you want, curse me as mant times as you want, I'd gladly accept it. Just don't ever doubt my love for you. I was our biggest fan. It's so often that we find ourselves in that true love that a lot of people look for. I made a mistake, but that doesn't prove that my love for you is not real at all. I love you, as simple as that.

Bub, You know I'll always be waiting. I'm sorry.

Pardon me while I burst

Ive had enough of the world and people's mindless
games. Pardon me, pardon me.

I tried reaching out, honeyS. God knows how much I wanted to reach out, I swear. Thing is, you didnt respond. Not even a smile from you to make things way better. It's so true. All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away. You're too far for me to hold now, dear. And to think I expected to hold you, my loved ones, for as long as forever. You're just way too far. I wanted to, but I guess you want to move
farther and farther. How can that be possible? Where the hell did I go wrong? I lost a friend.

I sometimes get teary-eyed thinking about the lost possibility. We could've been friends forever. What's stopping us now, anyway? God, how I hope it's not hatred. I love you still for me not to accept the possibility that it's anger that's keeping us back.

I need you to hear me. I need you to stop. I need you not to stop. Understand?

Look, I've been starting everything with an I. Stop with all the "you guys". For all you know, there's "us guys" who's hurt all the time with all you're "you guys".

It hurts, you know. One day you wake up and its not the same. I get through the day fine, happy in most days, but when I begin to think of the US, it's like waking
up to a whole new reality. Sometimes, I don't want to accept the fact its true, but what can I ever do when you want things the way they are now? And if by any chance that you actually don't want this situation, I don't feel that feeling from you at all. You once told me you miss me. I do too, dear. But after that, what?!

Don't you guys feel it too? I know you're not that jaded. So what's the point of all these drama? It's not amusing anymore. Day after day we move farther from each other. Don't you feel anything at all?! I hope you're not asuming that I want this for us 'cause I really don't. Shit, I have so many fucking questions. Why does this have to happen anyway?

Just tell me now, what will it be?

Honeyversarry

Three years man.Who would have thought?

Love is not love which alters when alterations finds it, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no,it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering barque, whose worth's unknown although his height be taken. Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come. Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
- W. Shakespeare

When I'm with you Bub, I feel the safest. Being with you shows me that even with all the hatred in this fucked up world, there's this one person who can make things way better. I love you always, that will never alter. Happy Anniversary.

All in a day's work

Work 1: Tyler
I feel so unproductive lately. Blanche, our Assistant Store Operations Manager, told me that I'm recently the highest seller for Tyler Rockwell. (YABANG) That felt really really really really good! HOWEVER, that made me really really really really LAZY as well, assuming that since I've been doing pretty darn well for the last few weeks, I have the right to be useless when I want to.

NOT!

Work 2: Community Service
Fuck community service! All because of those stupid brown lines on my shoes, I have to work my ass off for 50 hours before August 31. Otherwise, they'll be adding more hours! 23 hours more and I'm so done.



WOOPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Hold UP!
I'm actually in an internet cafe waiting for somebody to wake up. Been here for an hour already. Anyway....... This guy beside me "secretly" passed me a note saying: Hi, I'm Nico. I'm really not sure with what I'm doing but I've been looking at you for awhile now. You look like a really nice chinita. (WTF!? First of all, for the nth time, I am so not a chinita! I have one of the biggest eyes even I have ever seen! Second, should I be satisfied with nice? Nice is NOT a nice word, honey. Wahaha)
I was wondering if I could get your name and number, if it's OK.

I looked straight at him and said politely said NO. Wahahaha! Feeling ako fucker!

Didn't know I was looking for cows until I found you.

I swear, I didn't know.

Obesity + Patheticness + Isolation (yet always trying to belong) = Perfect Combination

Honey, wasn't long enough til I saw what everybody was seeing.


On a lighter note.

God! I forgot to check my mail this morning! If only I checked it a little bit earlier, then I could have gone to Topshop's Private Sale instead! I must admit, it's so rare that I am "exclusively" invited to these types of sales tapos I missed it pa! And to think I was in Rockwell already. Plus it's Topshop! Minsan lang ako magkapera for it tapos wala na.. Gone... It's a one day thing obviously not meant for me.



Pero ok lang (comfort oneself when deppressed), I have new shoes naman e thanks to Sugar dearest. Actually it's thanks to Nica.

Fuck. I sound like a dumb blonde.

Hafta go. Happy birthday to KC later! Hotel (hopefully) here we come!

What's your beef with me, boy?!

The hell with the rest of the world, I'm having the time of my life right now! I'm actually getting way better grades this sem. I love my part-time job PLUS Aidz and I have been CONSISTENTLY happy recently. I see to it that I still have time with my friends and time for myself.

So what's bothering me now?


All good things will come to an end sooner or later.

Uh-oh...

Let's see what this love can do

Have been experiencing a lot of new things lately. Scary at first, as always. Good thing I've got a big support system that help me get through everything even after a long, tiring, day. There's this one person though that I forget to thank all the time. It's you Bub. Everytime I'm so exhausted from school and Tyler, I demand a lot of things from you, even if I know for myself that some of the things I ask are too impossible to do. I'm so sorry. I've been too selfish and yet, without fail, you try your best to give me everything I want and need. I love you, i really do.

With you, I feel like I've got everything I need. Thank God I chose the right person. Thank God you chose me.

It's official, I'm OLDer!

First Stage: Denial Stage
Was watching MYX Backtrax last night while waiting for Anji. Obviously, from the name itself, MYX Backtrax shows old MTVs, hits of those un/forgotten artists. First song of the show: N'Sync's Drive Myself Crazy. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?! N'Sync happened to be one of my favorite artists way back in High School. Okay fine, Grade School. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it! How could that song be part of Backtrax already?! I know it's been years since that song became a hit, but come on, why couldn't they play Beauty and Madness instead? Now that song is perfect for Backtrax, right?

Second Stage: Hurting Stage
Second song of the show: Hansons' Mmmbop. I was officially offended. If we were to make a compilation of songs for my (very young) generation, Mmmbop would surely be part of the list. Even if it was fun seeing young Taylor and young Zac (sorry Isaac) again, it was still a bit humiliating, like putting my Grade School pictures in the MTV. Can't even imagine how I will react when I'm going through menopause already. Good luck.

Third Stage: Acceptance Stage
Next song: Moffats' I'll Be There For You. When I saw that video, I finally convinced myself to acknowlege the fact that these videos are here because they are indeed videos of the (near) past. The sooner I accept the idea, the sooner I'll get over it. Besides, I couldn't think of anything better to do while waiting than to watch MTVs that i used to love.

Fourth Stage: Tolerance Stage
98 Degrees' It's All Because of You and LFO's Summergirls. Alas, after 3 videos, I finally had the "courage" to sing with the songs, MY songs. Wise decision, actually. I screamed my lungs out as if it wasn't midnight yet. It was a great feeling, like transporting myself back to the colorful world of the 90's. I felt like a kid once again.


Try looking back once in awhile. It's not that bad.

Welcome to the Workstation

Oh God, I'll be a working girl anytime soon so please, help me.

I've been "preoccupied" this whole week with Tyler that I forgot to do stuff for school. I'm 99% sure part of the company already, but if by any chance they decide to not hire me instead, that's fine with me. Meeting all those fab people and seeing all those wonderful clothes are handsdown irreplaceable. Thanks to Aidz, Taker, and JC for being a part of the applying process. "The Essays" were not that easy to answer but you guys made it seem a lot less difficult.

It's gonna be challenging, I know that for a fact. For a person as lazy as me, working is like suicide. The only thing that drives me to do this is the collection of clothes that I'll be surrounded with. I know, lame reason right? But at least that's a start. Besides, we all to work sooner or later, whether we like it or not.

No Ordinary Morning

Woke up today not knowing what to feel. I wanted to cry, and I did. I wanted to feel happy, and so I called the person who could make me feel happy. God, how I wish I wasn't this emo this morning. And last night. And yesterday. Not now, not after a fun summer.

Blah

Stole this from a friend's blog. Let's see if these really are the hardest things:

* Pretending to be innocent of what you know about - God, secrets are the worst things in this world. If only there weren't shit everyone to keep..

* Trying to show you care - Un/luckily, I don't know how to execute perfectly this "deceitfulness". I'm pretty obvious when I don't like a person.

* Trying to forget something you know you NEVER will - One thing I learned is life is to stop the trying-to-forget phase, that's bullshit. The more you do that, the more you'll think about it. You'll end up realizing you're this pathetic person trying to hold on to something that has long been gone. So sad.

* Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right - ...especially to your parents!

* Debating with yourself - I usually end up doing the stupid option but what the heck, I had fun anyway!

* Knowing what's wrong and what's right

* Growing up - Growing up isn't hard at all. My parents think I'm still this immature 20 year old who knows nothing but parties and friends. Bullshit. I feel more grownup everytime they say that. The fact that I know better, that I am definitely not who they think I am, makes me feel more grownup than them.

* ACCEPTING the fact that some things are NOT meant TO BE - Some things are better left understood. Tsk.

* Swallowing your pride when it has become TOO HARD and TOO BIG to even gulp it down with water - Pride shride! I hate pride!

* Being the LAST TO KNOW about something that CONCERNS you most of all - YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Uhhh! People!

* Realizing that you have been TRICKED after you have given your WHOLE TRUST - I honestly don't know who to trust recently.

* Realizing that you have taken the most IMPORTANT thing for GRANTED

* PARTING with someone you've just LEARNED to LOVE - I tried not doing this that's why I ended up joggling people which is very bad, I know. Good thing I'm with Aidz now(SIPSIP!).

* Letting GO of someone you've LOVED ALL YOUR LIFE - :'(

* Losing someone you care deeply about - Some friends are just too hard to lose. But when they decide to stick to other friends instead, even after all the things you've been through together, then we don't really have a say on that anymore. We just have to let them be. It's their life anyway.

* Saying how you REALLY FEEL and Explaining WHERE YOU STAND - Some people expect you to agree with everything they do. What if you really don't? What to do, what to do?!

* Knowing what is best and yet doing the exact opposite - The opposite usually gives you the most satisfaction.

* Bracing yourself for the worst kind of pain... & still hurting so much. - Noone can be prepared enough for any kind of pain.

* Denying to yourself that you're falling... then finally you realize that indeed you have fallen when it's too damn late and you cant get out - Wala lang, but I just remebered something Jen Padua said before, Love is like hide and seek. Wala lang.

* Being with someone else when the right one comes along sad to belong...- Never leave "someone else"

* Knowing deep inside that you love someone yet you can't say it out loud - Unspoken love is the "not enough" type of love for me. If you really love the person, say it. The burden of unspoken love is worse than being turned down by someone.

list 21 people who are at the top of your head right now, and then answer the questions.

1. Aidz = Bubba
2. Marla
3. Reji
4. Isabel
5. Eli
6. Taker
7. JC
8. Anji
9. Janis
10. Ning
11. Icay
12. Bok
13. Jacq
14. Edel
15. Mochie
16. Gi
17. Alex Du
18. JP
19. Thea
20. Alex Roca
21. Chocho

How did you meet 12?
Common friend, I guess. Always thankful.

What would you do if you never met 6?
Nothing, malamang. One thing's for sure though, things would have been a lot more boring if Taker wasn't around.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
Hmm, pwde actually! Ha!

Did you ever like 11?
She's my ex who turned out to be one of my closest friends.

Would 4 and 13 make a good couple?
Tss, sige try nila. Sab and Jacq? Yeah right! Haha!

Describe 8.
We used to be super close way back in STC. We've been hanging out again lately and God knows how much I missed her! Laugh trip lagi grabe!

Do you think 14 is attractive?
Uhuh. I love her skin actually.

Tell me something humiliating about 17.
Wala e. Alex Du is so cute, fun, bubbly (okay stop patronizing) that you can never find anything humiliating about her.

Do you know any of 4's family members?
Of course, I see her whole clan a lot.

What's 21's favorite color?
Pink. So Chocho!

On a scale of 1-10, how hot is 10?
10 syempre.

What would you do if 18 confesses he likes you?
Smile :)

What language does 20 speak?
"Ow!"

Who is 9 going out with?
The last time I asked her she said wala DAW.

what grade is 16 in?
4th yr coll

When's the last time you talked to 13?
Last night when Sab and I went to her gig.

What is 2's favorite band/singers?
M.T.M (->yuck! slam book!)

Would you ever date 5?
Haha! No.

Would you ever date 1?
Of course. :)

What is 19's last name?
Ventura

What school does 7 go to?
Ateneo (grad)

Where does 15 live?
At a village beside Celeb.

Are number 7 & 8 best friends?
They don't know each other.

Do you like 6?
Always.

Tagged by Tiffy

the first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule clearly..in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names..don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read yours.

1. I cannot take a bath without a radio with me inside the bathroom. It usually takes me 5-10mins to take a bath, but 1 hour inside the bathroom. I dance and stare at myself all the time. Who doesnt?

2. I cannot cook anything. I microwave even pancit canton and noodles.

3. I hate snakes. I scream at the sight of a snake (picture / cartoon / toy / snake skin/ etc)

4. I always feel like I have dimples. TANGGAPIN MO NA KAR: WALA KANG DIMPLES!

5. I can't wear heels. EVER. Flip flops forever.

6. Coffee + Yosi is a big no no.

Back Down Memory Lane

Memory Lane 1:
Waiting for Rej and Icay to arrive hours after the said meeting time was all worth it!

I had my well-deserved fun that night thanks to those people. Mar and I sure missed them. We were supposed to discuss some stuff about the batch reunion we're organizing but................... POOF! Mar + Kar + Icay + Rej = no serious matter. haha! At least last night that was true. We laughed at the silliest of things and talked of our "pasts" without any reservation whatsoever. And to think Karlo and Rino were there with us too! God, how i love high school, how i love them.

I can't wait for the reunion! It's gonna be tons of fun! It's supposed to be fun! We organized it e! Ha! So much for getting credit first from others. Seriously though, I hope everything will turn out fine.

Memory Lane 2:
I hope he realizes how depressing my situation could be. How could he have forgotten/ignored something so clear? I never really understood why he all of a sudden got mad with me going out a lot lately. It was never an issue to him before, so what's the difference now? I need to be surrounded by people who love me. He doesn't get that, so sad.

Memory Lane 3:
Finally saw Brandonboy (or is it another name? God, I can't even remember his name. Stupid me. People like him should be a household name already)! God, how I wish everything would be that simple with me.

Memory Lane 4:
Memories, all alone in the moonlight. Haaaaayyyyy. How do we forget memories?


SHOUTOUT!
Theresians Batch 02! Reunion on the 20th of May! Don't be a kill joy and come to the grandest party we'll ever have as a batch. It'll be fun! There'll be booze, bands, food, familiar faces, and of course, your friends. Come and experience for yourself! :)

Here I go again: A Conversation with Kar

Uh-oh! What have I gotten myself into? KAR! ANO BA! Are you sure about that? Tangina. Better think twice. Or thrice. I know you like, on second thought LOVE nalang, what you just did but what the hell WE/Are you thinking? Can you handle it one more time? Kaya mo? I hope so.

Make things right this time around.

i love the you and me boys

.. and they love me!

Last night was supposed to be a perfectly fun night of poker until this fucker tried to ruin part of MY evening. You asshole just said one the meanest things I have ever heard in my life and I can never let you get away with that! Trust me on that one. The next time I see you without my friend backing you up, tangna, your ass is mine!

You just messed with the wrong girl, honey! Why? Here’s a list:

1. I may be too friendly most of the time, but the moment my feelings and friends get offended and hurt merely by anyone or anything, including animals like you, I can be one of the meanest girls you’ll ever meet in your whole lifetime.


2. Don’t go pretending like you’re some hotshot know-it-all coz you’re basically not. You look a lot more jologs than anyone in the tournament. I have HIGH STANDARDS when it comes to guys’ clothes you know. From what I heard last night, you have high standards too.


3. I am officially the only girl in the barkada. You mess with me, you mess with a lot of guys that are obviously way more capable of beating you up, even individually.

4. You showed us this aura of poker-greatness but by the time we all started playing, I never saw you actually showing off your so-called greatness. Tss!

5. You said one of the worst lies about me in front of Eli, my dear bestfriend. Definitely a wrong move.


Now, here are some reasons why my night ended way better than I expected:

1. I am very lucky with the guy friends that I have. They’re really sweet. By the time they heard about the things that that asshole said about me, I looked at their faces and they all looked frustrated. Not that I want them to feel that way, but their reactions and expressions gave me the assurance that I am really special to them.

2. A special thanks to them for wanting to beat the hell out of the guy. Especially you my Bok, I am really touched.

3. JP: you don’t have to say sorry. It’s not your fault.

4. They think I’m pretty! Yay! Bwahahahahaha

5. Congratulations to Eli! I’m so proud of you! I finished 8th place at the tournament and I’m proud of that! I could have finished higher if it wasn’t for that guy that I badly wanted to leave. Unluckily, he gave in to my bluff. Revenge is bad.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

_
i cried while listening to this song for the first time.
goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. its time to accept that some things are better not spoken. we just have to let things be.

Shane of The L Word

you make me wanna.

Perils of Friendster

Tried opening my old yahoo account an hour ago, wishing there's something worth reading. Lo and behold, i came upon the email Chris sent me about Friendster and how it can be a world of superficial acquaintances, a place of insincere empathy, of shallow love affairs and a preying ground for stalkers, weirdos, and 15 year olds who'd orgasm seeing text containing any combination of words with dick, shaft, hole, mountain, cyclops, ice cream, salt or bicycle in them. It is the realm of the pretentious, the pseudo-intellectual, and more often than not, the aesthetically challenged.

With that said, I shall show you the afflicting horrors of Friendster and its denizens in a brand spanking new column aptly titled:

The Atrocities of Friendster

(WARNING: majority of the pictures can be very scary that you may never ever want to post a picture of yourself anymore!)

To those whose pictures are posted here, im so sorry but you guys really suck in the photography area. (Please take note that im blaming the photos and not the appearances in order to make things easier for you to accept). -karky

Case 1: John

Jon, I just want to say three things to you before I lock myself up in my room and hang myself:
1.Wearing jeans to the gym is just. plain. wrong.
2.Looking at your hair magically transports me back to 1996; the time when the Gwapings and vertically striped shirts with collars reigned supreme.
3.I've seen six year olds with better bodies than you so for the love of everything that's holy; PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON.

Case 2: Patrick

ROMNICK SARMIENTA! What ever happened to you? I was your biggest fan.

Case 3: Bhabe

After an hour and a half of scouring Friendster for portraits that represent everything that is repugnant and awful in the world, I realized a few things:
1. The world is brimming with ugliness.
2. It's surprising how I haven't committed suicide yet after this activity.
3. I should come up with a pseudonym and stop using my real name.
4. I'm going straight to hell.
5. You guys suck.

Case 4: Sherwin

How to be the star in the prom:
1. Use CY Gabriel bleaching soap liberally on your face.
2. Bring a corpse as your date

Case 5: Gelo

Jericho Rosales is that you?

Case 6: Chard

A rare photograph of a man-sloth. This one hasn't moved for three years hence the thick layer of algae growing on its head. Either that or it rubbed it's head in fecal matter. What a Shithead. get it? Shit head?

Case 7: Melai

Photographer: Pare smile naman dyan!
Orc: Anong pare? Babae ako noh!
Photographer: Di nga?
Orc: SNAK ES AD ARGHHHH!!! (Translated from Orc language: SHOOT THE DAMN PHOTO OR I'LL EAT YOU AND YOUR UNBORN BABIES!!!!!)
Photographer: There is no God. *cries

Case 8: Billy

Ang "Batang Baller": observe the matching sando, baller ID and armband. After this studio pic was taken, he attempted to play basketball in the streets of Tondo wearing this ghastly ensemble where he was summarily beaten within an inch of his life

Case 9: Guido

Mike: I cornered this mutant after he crawled in through the window and found his way to my sofa. He's still there, and I'm still praying to God that he NEVER, as in NEVER EVER take that pillow off where it is right now.
Tim: Oh my God; remember the cartoon series 'Toxic Crusaders?' What the fuck happened to his face? It looks as if he filled the toilet with Muriatic Acid and dunked his head in it.
Mike: 1,000 pesos says there's a hideous man-eating monster under that pillow.
Tim: Nah, I don't want to take your money Mike, you need it for a new Sofa.
Mike: True.

Case 10: BJ

no comment

Case 11: Christian

Mike: God, even Earboy wants to be Superman.
Tim: And what's up with the tablecloth?
Mike: It's tablecloth? I actually thought it was graphing paper.
Tim: What's graphing paper?
Mike: Nevermind

Case 12: The Gang

Uhh

Case 13: Loren

OH MY GOD! I'LL PAY ANYBODY 5,000 PESOS TO GET THIS THING OFF MY MONITOR!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT APPLIED TOO MUCH ASTRINGENT ON ITS FACE OR IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK! EITHER WAY, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S CARNIVOROUS.

Case 14: Phil

Some people pretend they're rich. Some people pretend they're superheroes. This guy pretends he's heterosexual. Awful job chap, awful job.

Case 15: Jack

Well well well! Congratulations for inheriting your mother's boobs! Feel free to write me an angry email. No need to put little hearts and flowers at the top though cause the idea that you would like them there is pretty much established. The same applies to attached pictures of you in a fluffy pink tutu, you hunky piece of meat you.

Case 16: Rodel

Pau: The science committee presents their latest discovery: The Abominable, awfully disfigured snow fag.
Mike: Shhhhhh!!! It can hear us!
Pau: His Her Its face sorta reminds me of a barren desert.
Mike: And look! There's some sort of insect crawling out of its ears!
Pau: Would you sleep with this thing for 50,000 bucks?
Mike: Hell no!
Pau: 55,000 bucks?
Mike: Deal!

Case 17: Totnakerns

Imagine waking up with this thing beside your bed. It's like the worst nightmare you could ever have. Imagine the type you can never wake up and actually die from. Imagine that. Only gayer.

brain drain

had another interesting at starbucks today. shared my table with another unexceptionally smart person (the last interesting morning was with max). too bad i forgot his name (shows how stupid i can get sometimes). its so intriguing how people can get so knowledgeable about a lot of things, majority of which are stuff we often see as unimportant, but once "the smarts" talk about things like they're one of the most interesting topics in the world, you suddenly enter their world of dorkiness, wishing that someday you'll be like them. these people just have that certain aura i can never really explain exactly, that can get people intimidated by them and at the same time drawn to them.

--
a lot of my friends are graduating this march. major reality check kar! im happy for them that's for sure, but its gonna be hard for me to go to their grad parties, unable to feel the unexplainable happiness that they'll expectedly be feeling.

--
its been a long, long, long time since i honestly talked about this feeling of regret whenever i pass by ateneo. when i see myself wearing my MC uniform, i sometimes have to remind myself: 'you're smart.' and i am. i definitely am. leaving ateneo after almost three years their doesnt make me less of a person, nor can it already give other people the idea that i'm not as smart anymore. correct me if im wrong but i even think that im smarter than some of those ateneans who are at the moment ordering their togas.

uh. too much of the self-upliftment.

my footnote to youth

post valentines message to everybody.

From the Eraserheads song “With a Smile”: ‘cause in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story, it’s no wonder love can make the world go round.

Youth has always been the favorite victim of that complicated, vague word we all call love. It is amazing though how such an experience, the tremendous feeling of loving somebody, can be so simple to the youth, to those who feel it for the first time. As the cliché goes, love is blind. Kids today sure prove hat saying as true. Amidst all the chaos and injustice happening at the present, those in love act like there is no other feeling in the world than blissfulness. It its love that gives lovers the feeling that nothing else matters other than their pure love, or so they call it.

Love to youth can be a do or die thing. The youth has always been the great defender of love, fighting for it up to the very end, without caring about the consequences of their actions. It’s very evident nowadays, kids doing anything for love. Some elope, some get pregnant to keep the relationship, some engage in premarital sex all for the sake of expressing their deep affection for the one they love. A lot of parents think that the love the youth believes in is not the type to be taken seriously. I honestly think they are just selfish – selfish in a way that they hinder their kids from being happy, even if it is just for a moment, just because they’re so caught up with the reality of reality.

To me, it is the greatest feeling – being in love. I still think and feel that love is still, and will always be the same. Call it pathetic, impractical even, but when you really think about it, love may be the only genuine thing that we can get from all the lies and deceitfulness in this world. My advice to adults then? Give love, the crazy, foolish, kind, another chance. It won’t hurt if they leave reality behind for a while and love like nobody’s judging them.

sabrinka

fuck. wasnt able to post anything about my dear fab friend who just had her birthday, two, err, or a day ago. anyhoo, ISABEL AGATHA a sweetest birthday greeting to you. my god, is this true? for i don't know how many years already, one of the sure events in my to-do-for-the-year list is to go to your party and have fun. i bet next year, i'll have to edit that list. sab, im hoping that this wont be the last 'sab's birthday' i get to spend with you. you're leaving soon. not that soon actually, but it's near enough for me to start getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. i love you honey, you know that. hope you had a fab time last saturday. you deserve all the love in the world.

my insights

reflections: Ermita, A filipino novel by F. Sionil Jose. read it, it's captivating to the very last page.


Such colorful individuals we are in this huge canvass that is called life, and yet there’s this one thing that would always unify us, and that’s happiness.

“We move on, we build and create because we are unhappy” –Didi Gamboa

Ermita, to me, is not about “an enclave of privilege and affluence, and the putrefaction of a society.” F. Sionil Jose’s “Ermita”, I believe, is a story about that great search for genuine happiness, not just by Ermi, but also by all the other characters, amidst their backgrounds, social status, beliefs, and way of living. It is their search for that “something unknown” that actually made the whole novel more interesting, more captivating to the very last page.

Happiness can never be found in things that are physical, that’s one thing I picked up from the novel. Happiness can only be found in love, the kind that demands nothing in return. It is in this genuine love that a person can feel the contentment, that unexplainable happiness, only a few of us could ever experience and appreciate.

Robert Fulghum said: “I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts – that hope always triumphs over experience – that laughter is the only cure for grief.” I believe so too. I believe that hope, the ultimate driving force, makes us strong individuals as we face different challenges along the path to happiness. It is already innate in us humans to look for something more. Sadly though, a lot of us, myself included, find happiness in all the wrong places. I can’t blame them. Even Rolando Cruz thinks so too: “There is so much dishonesty today, not just in government but in business. Perhaps sex is the only honest thing left.” My god, is Rolando right in saying that? If so, will we ever find true happiness? What if the real hindrance to our own happiness is ourselves?

Living now in a materialistic world, it is so easy for money and power to trick us, letting us feel that there’s no better joy than acquiring them. Those with weak and distorted foundation fall easily into the trap of deceit. True though that for a moment, one would feel the “happiness” that money and power bring. If I were to become powerful, and rich, a lot of people would automatically love me, adore me even. By then I could afford everything, though I doubt that I’ll be contented. Too much dependence on the material and the physical, including sex, can bring negative effects to ourselves, to others, and to God. Dependency, in fact, is the inability to experience wholes, or to function adequately without the certainty that one is actively cared for by another. Take Ermi for example. She had everything during her peak – luxurious cars, mink coats, a well used passport, and the like, but she was never completely happy.

Dependency, on the contrary, can be healthy too. We all have desires to be cared for by persons stronger than us who have our interests truly at heart. Come to think of it, we need the presence of others to be truly happy. We need to know, to feel, that we are also needed by others. If not, then existence has no value.

There are definitely things that money can’t buy – happiness is one. It is not in having everything that a person becomes truly happy. It is in having some, and being thankful for all the gifts received, appreciating them as much as one can. Happiness is always rooted in love, the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s growth.

When happiness comes knocking, never let it pass, for it only comes once. No one is too old to experience happiness; there’s no such thing as too late. All you have to do is be sensitive of its presence. For all we know, its been there all along. We were just foolish enough to believe that there are far better things. Reality is, not all situations have better sides to them. All that’s left is what’s there the whole time, wanting to be appreciated for all its effort. No one wants to be like Ermi, regretful in the end, right?

restless

my life is so steady right now that i need something exciting to break the consistency that's taking over my system. help me put here. all i need is a little difference and that's it. too tired of school, cant say im fed up with all the parties.

All we need is our lives in a suitcase,
They belong to a friend of a friend,
And as we drink to ourselves we'll amuse ourselves,
Underneath the sky, underneath the sky again.

back to basics

the backstreet boys concert


the backstreet boys groupies

Back to Basics:
1. ive been having this 90's thing lately, listening to nothing but backstreet boys, nsync, spice girls even. it's so fascinating how some people my age, or even older, unexpectedly know old school pop songs. *thinking of boom right now* good thing i went to the bsb concert. i was supposed to miss the whole event if third didnt call that fateful afternoon.

2. diet. yada-yada. call me hypocrite but i now want to go on a strict diet. wasnt much of a fan before, but i guess certain things do change overnight. ive been getting good comments lately so there's nothing/noone stopping me now.

3. ?????? god im confused again, help me please.

random rants

hard to believe but everything feels so okay. major cutting of classes this week for me though. seems like part of the okay im talking about is staying away from things that give me stress - school. uhh. i cant wait for the weekend.

i cant wait to start my new investment. i hope it works coz i'll really be pissed off it it doesn't.

tonette is leaving tomorrow. i'll definitely miss her. looking forward to seeing her soon! i wanna go to new york again soon and bum with all of her college friends there! i hope she gives me one of her pants!

im out. i have to get ready for the play. scary shit. i hope fortez appreciates the play we've been practicing for the past days.

cobwebs

ahh, the wonders of vacation. it leaves me no time to update my blog.

some holiday highlights will do:
- went to batangas with aidz and my cousins and vivienne
- tonette is here! she's hot. i thought we'd never get along, but two cigarettes made all the difference. everybody (i.e sab, gi, aidz) loved her. i love her now. we snuck out of the house one night (me, anais, and tonette) so that she could meet some of my friends. gail, arvin, and lex were there for awhile too. grabe, what a night. who would actually believe we were able to meet two germans that same night?
- went to tagaytay twice with cousins, i think. or was it once lang?
- went to chris' party/poker night
- slept at aica's houses almost all the time
- inuman/poker night at ate len's condo. after that night, we were all hooked to that game.
- slept at edsa shangri-la hotel with cousins
- went to arvin's place with sab, lex, gail, arvin, ryan, john
- the 'girly night' with sab. tangna, that was the night of all nights, the highlight of the holidays. went to three bars/inuman places (let's be posers shall we?) that night. tons of ego-boost, tons of regret too. haha. i get the creeps just thinking about it. dont get me wrong sab, i had the funnest fun with you!
- bought aidz his poker set
- bummed with sab a lot, as always

I MISS YOU HAMMIE :(

girlosophy

the art of living.
(got this from dd's blog)

*appreciate the smallest things
*be gracious in both victory and defeat
*you need butterflies in your heart, not your stomach
*failure is not an option, because ot doesn't exist
*when it comes to falling in love: no chase, no trying too hard, no obsession, just let it be
*a bestfriend forgives foibles, overlooks shortcomings, and accepts, even cherishes idiosyncrasies
*keep your heart sweet
*let it flow, there's nothing wrong with tears
*choose to be happy, you have the power
*clean up your act, edit your life. keep what is useful, important, and beautiful
*learn to be alone. it helps you grow
*believe in magic, you walk in it


life is beautiful if you let it be beautiful. beauty shouldn't just be an opinion, it's a state of mind. one rule i live by: always think you're beautiful. if you think of yourself as anything less than that, then how could other people see your beauty? find those things that make you beautiful, both inside and out, and enhance it. i read this line from my starbucks planner (haha bragging) awhile ago: when you find your favorite, your favorite becomes you.

SWEET HOLIDAYS EVERYONE. ;)

here we go

christmas break once again! cheers to the happy holidays we all should be experiencing!
my christmas jitters are all gone. im loving the season already.

- got the 'glow' bloom cream that ive long been wanting, thanks to chris rabonza! such a sweetie
- sab gave me a nice top. wore it already honey.
- thea and moya's party drew's. it was all fun before someone stole her nice phone. sayang.
- joseph's party was nice. everybody was there. oh, and that famous trupo of his was present too. tss.
- my ateneo barkada party was a blast. though only three of us actually followed the 'wear white top' rule, we all had a great time. loved the food. i ate so much i had to vommit. missed my bitches!
- quattro with eli, jp, sab, and moch. surprisingly, a lot of people we knew were there! gail and pio. reji and the gang. weird night. we stayed there til the waiters were actually cleaning up already.
- one bad thing though, im missing aidz. he went to hongkong with his family. bummer. missing him already (even though he was gone for at least 5 hours pa lang)
- tonette, my true blue new yorker cousin, will be spending christmas here with us. gotta prepare for that. ;)

christmas jitters

its getting colder, im getting sicker.

yup, christmas is slowly taking over my entire system, telling me its THE time for gift giving. i hate it. im totally broke. i barely have enough money for gifts. making my christmas list is now harder, and must i add, more challenging. when you have little money for others, you'll be forced to be a little bit wiser and a lot more kuripot than usual. it's either you give only pricey gifts to people really close to you, or you go shopping for somewhat non-sense gifts for everybody.

my list is definitely shorter this year. :( reality bites. i used to give gifts to everyone i love. its just saddening whenever you downgrade your anything. i hate that my christmas list is the one i have to downgrade this year. it's always fun to give gifts, and for someone who loves receiving knick knacks, i feel somewhat obliged to repay everyone the little joys they give me.

i know, i know. the world is not that materialistic and if morrie (of tuesdays with morrie) was to talk to me right now, he'd say that material things are for-the-meantime kind of happiness only. yada-yada. all i want is for everybody to receive the stuff they really want. im really bummed that i can't give everyone that. sigh.

i have one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving a peace sign.

jologs

fine. guilty as charged. watched the big night of pinoy big brother. hated wency cordero (whatever his name is) and willie revillame. such posers. loved marielle's dresses though.

anyway, since i was in the jologs mood once again, i tried watching master showman. yah. the famous walang tulugan. saw hero and alas, i was once again amazed by his charm. this is what i get for being at home on a RAINY saturday night.

here's my list of jologs favorites:
- i have a crush on hero angeles. shut up.
- i love tagalog movies. as a matter of fact, i watch a lot of filipino stuff. i just never went ballistic over telenovelas. im not really fond of them. well, except when F4 was the talk of the town. ha! went crazy over that show. who would have thought asianovelas would actually click.
- i love showbiz talks.
- i religiously watch sop-asap every sunday.
- id rather take the risk of shopping in 168mall or tutuban just to get the cheapest, yet still as nice as the expensive clothes ever.
- i love alessandra de rossi. (did i spell her name correctly?)
- i get starstruck whenever i see showbiz people.
i know there are lots more, but im too lazy to even think.

i need a break.

3 ways to be happy

learned this from my dear gi ;)

1. count your blessings
2. stay away from the people who hurt you
3. shit, i forgot. gi help!

emails

we were never really the email sending kind of couples. this message was different though. mushy, yes. its the effort from him that i'm more happy about.

from aidz:
14 things i'll do for my bubba
1. tell her she looks pretty
2. write her a note
3. just walk around with her
4. let her fall asleep in your arms
5. CALL HER
6. call her back if she calls you
7. get her ad then kiss her
8. give her space if she needs it
9. stay up with her all night
10. when shes sad, hangout with her
11. stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything
12. look into her eyes
13. sit outside with her & look at the stars
14. kiss her in the rain

thank you.

idlip

in the arms of make-believe, sleep will set you free

finding that spark

i was sick, so forgive me for being so moody. my last post was so emo. i guess id have to make bawi (tss. conyo shit) with some emo stuff too.

sorry. i wasn't thinking. im moody when im sick and you know that. you know how i am. basta. next time im sick, give me more attention. i promise, ill be that pathetic but SWEET (not grouchy anymore) bed-ridden loser waiting for your call the next time something like that happens. you make me happy, i hope you know that.
on other matters.....

i was talking to my dearest friend awhile ago. we talked about how hard it is to ignore the feeling of boredom when you're in a serious, long term relationship. reality slap people, it can be boring at a certain point, but that doesn't mean that everything has to end at that moment. steadiness is part of the whole relationship idea. that's what i learned from my dear aidz. he said that if a person's not willing to be steady with another person, then there's no point in continuing the relationship. when you get restless after 2 years of being together, then you'll definitely gonna be more restless 3, or even 10, years more. being steady has its ups. it makes you become more comfortable and safe with each other. it allows you to have someone as an easy outlet for whatever emotion it is you're having. in truth, being in a steady relationship makes you feel more confident too. blah blah blah.

i sometimes wonder if steadiness is the reason why there are commitment phobic people. i dont get them actually, how can you be scared of commitment when you havent given it a shot with that person? no relationship is the same, so why generalize love right? who knows, that next one might be the one.

the solution to boredom? find different ways of expressing your deep love for each other. this one's tricky. sab and i have been trying to look for perfect solutions for couples, but some are just so hard to actualize. so, here's what we've thought of as of now:
1. try a new sport together. (it works! its even fun when you're both competitive)
2. eat/go somewhere you dont usually go to. (being in a new environment gives you that 'we just had a different experience today' kind of feeling)
3. get drunk together. (there are lots of fun stuff you can do when you're wasted!)
4. renovate each other's rooms (well... )
5. go somewhere far and exciting
6. do the unusual (do things for him that you do not normally do. in my case, i have been dreaming of that day when i actually cook aidz that meal he's been long been wanting. sad to say, i dont cook AT ALL. maybe someday)
7. talk for hours about anything under the sun. phone conversations are definitely a no-no. its a lot more meaningful when you're together.
8. go wacky! do crazy stuff together like dance in the middle of who cares where. (ok, so im the only one who does that. its fun, try it.)


found this one in my Theology131 book:
It is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love; real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real lvoe occurs in a context in which the feeling of lvoe is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don't feel loving. Real love is permanently self-enlarging experience. Falling inlove is not - M. Scott Peck

who's to blame?

no, we're definitely not cool.

you want me to actually believe that you care when you, ONCE AGAIN, (let me guess) 'accidentally' slept while waiting for your sister to stop using the phone? you said so yourself, im sick and i need my rest. well guess what, im still sick and im still awake.

oh and yes, im blaming you for my being like this right now.

its a family thing

fuck. its been like this ever since. it just got a whole lot worse when i got out of ateneo. fuck.

nobody in the family knows even 5% of me, so they dont have the fuckin right to tell me who i am and what i should do. im so pissed off right now with everyone, especially my parents. just a sight of me would make them say two paragraphs of useless shit about my so-called useless life.

my dad has finally absorbed the fact that his words are nothing compared to my mom's. he has officially joined the under-the-saya organization. if thats what he wants, good luck then. nothing is as hell as letting my mom have full control of your life. i hope he's happy coz im definitely not. ive spent 4 years in college and its the first time my dad said no to every gimik i was supposed to go to. fuck. 'this time around, when i say no, no na kagad wag mo ng pilitin pa!' tangna. after tasting the sweet yes from him everytime i asked permission to go anywhere, that's what he's gonna tell me? he says ive had enough. enough of what? parties? tss. its not as if i go out every weekend! (well...) tangna, i go out but its not like i go around getting high all the time. i am not an addict. so sorry to let them down, but im really not. they think i am, thats stupid. tss. ever since he said no to that overnight at sab's, i said goodbye to talking to him. don't think ill be changing that soon.

i never talk to my mom. its pointless. obviously, we are far from being the gilmore girls (not that i want us to be). a sentence-long conversation is for us to start shouting at each other. she'll never understand me, that's for sure. she has a million things to say in everything i do: 1.my ukay ukay clothers are demonic cause eventually, ill be getting the bad characteristics of the last person who wore them. 2.when she sees my eyes watery, droopy, and all that jazz, she'll conclude that ive been taking drugs and shit. 3.i never made and will make wise decisions. 4.im a fuckin liar 5.im not as smart as everyone else 6. im the most deviant child a parent could ever want 7.i burn their money by buying useless stuff 8.im more fat than her 9.my friends are as fucked up as me 9.i have no right to anything 10-?..endless shit man. wow. moms are supposed to be their daughters' friends but nooo. we never had friendship to begin with. i know my limitations cause she said so: 'di mo ko kabarkada, nanay mo ko. remember that.' tangna she sure could count on that!

now, my brother. its a love-hate relationship, so its kinda the same with everyone naman. i just hate it when there's that favoritism shit again. scenario: parent's room. we both asked for money cause we both had lakads to go to. i get P100 and a mom shouting telling me how irresponsible i am for not having money for my own lakads, while he gets P500-1000 and a mom asking him if that's enough or not. wwhhhaatt-ttthhheee-fffuuuccckkk?! its been like that ever since they've proven the genius in him. no to my tagaytay outing, but yes to his batangas trip. no to using the driver, but yes to letting him use the driver, even the pajero, until wee hours of the morning. i know that he's definitely proven himself worthy of the armani and lacoste shirts she's been getting almost all the time, but it just feels so wrong sometimes. there should never ever be that kind of treatment when it comes to kids, if you ask me.

now, down to one. trish. my favorite familymate. she's definitely a sweetheart, but when my mom's around, trish is as 'angelic' as her. i love her dearly. i just hate that suck up side of hers.

now, here's my side of the story. i am not deliquent, just misunderstood. they think i make wrong decisions, maybe i do. but that never stopped me from doing something productive, intelligent, creative, and useful. oh and by the way, im smart. that's a fact. no dumb person would pass acet by luck or chance. though im not there anymore, i stayed for exactly 5 semesters. my friends are not fucked up. i love them cause theyre the best people in the world. i love going out cause its where im happy. im never happy when im with my family. i know that sucks, but thats that. i never care where im going, as long as its not with them. ive had a million attempts of leaving the house, but i never could. i try to get high grades now, i really am. i love ukay ukay. for the past years, ive never asked them to buy me anything, so they cant tell me that all i ever do is beg for something. i live with the little money they give me, even when i know na nananadya lang sila. i cry all the time. i shout cause im never heard. its always there side, and never mine. im silent when im with them cause the things i say never matter anyway.

they say they know me. tss. who the fuck are they fooling?

steady

everything's okay now. im calm, im contented.

it's gonna be QUITE different this time around. i think i want to let go of the 'always crying' side i have perfected and/or mastered through time. it's so hard to turn your whole world away from the person who means the whole world to you. anyhoo. that's why im staying. im not a fool. i want to stay, so i will.

glad that we're okay. happy that we're happy. tss.

foolish

see my days are cold without you, but im hurting while im with you. and though my heart cant take no more i keep on coming back to you.

fuck. weird experience saturday night. was it a taste of reality? f.

a paradox

was at Quattro last Thursday night. my girls were there: sab and gi. we had to go out. we all had our own reasons for wanting, no,i think the perfect word would be NEEDING to go out. lex and the others were there. gawd, chubi was there too. proud, NORMAL, pathetic shit. anyway, i had fun. in fact, i had so much fun! its been awhile since i last went out with a new set of people. my nights would usually be with the claret boys or my ateneo friends. im not complaining. its just so refreshing being around people you don't really know that well. gawd. such a memorable night. thanks sab. thanks gi. you made me smile.

--

on the other hand

--

im sad. nothing's going right.
i try to keep it together, but im sooo falling apart.


im so tired, i feel so uninspired. i scared of this feeling.

waiting

everyone's doing their all souls day thing, while im left here sitting infront of my laptop waiting for something exciting to happen.

i hate being this overly sensitive, emotional jerk. everytime i can't contact anyone close to me, i feel like everyone else is in another planet having the time of their lives, while im all alone in one room, scared and terrified. fuck imagination. i imagine a lot of things when i feel im alone. sometimes, when im so into the whole rain + tears thing, i go to my brother's balcony, feel the mist of the supposedly cold rain, light a cigarette, listen to the most dramatic song i could find in my mp3 player, and cry myself a river. pathetic right? i know. there are just those weird things that you do in your life that are so hard to remove, 'cause fact the matter is, they make you happy (or at least calm) however weird they may be.

since im into the 'my weird practices' now, this may be the perfect and only time i admit to people the weird things i do:
1. just like any other girl, i sing and dance infront of the mirror when im alone. i even use an improvised mic during my so-called concerts.
2. i can never take a bath without a radio. i take this very seriously.
3. i cry infront of the mirror.
4. i cannot sleep without rubbing my feet, especially my right foot, anywhere soft.
5. i pee before every movie i watch. even when im home watching dvds, i piss before a movie starts.
6. i love eating / drinking gravy.
7. my voice AUTOMATICALLY turns malambing everytime i ask favors from people
8. i like hearing tori amos' song when eli is driving very fast at night
9. im kinikilig everytime aidz runs his fingers through my hair
10. i eat noodles with rice
11. i shake my legs whenever i beg aidz to stop being so mad at me for whatever reason
12. i pluck religiously.
13. i don't let anyone touch my eyebrows
14. i don't like people touching my arms.
15. i keep a list of people i love and hate
16. i keep receipts
17. i keep every little thing people i love give me, may it be from tetra packs to candy wrappers
18. whenever i watch teeny bopper movies, i pretend that im the lead girl there.
19. i panic when i see snakes
20. there are floors that i just cant even look at. i call them the icky/kadiri floors
21. i automatically roll my eyes when i see a car + windows down + loud hip hop music + an ugly driver smoking wearing either a cap or his imitation shades. could anything / anyone be more jologs?
22. i read letters of people when im lonely

omg. i could go on and on. but that would suck, right? oohh i hate waiting. hey people! c'mon. im so bored. this night is one of those nights.

i feel alone. i really do.

blast from the past

the moment i got home from china, i havent had the time to blog. i missed it actually. so i owe it to myself to update this pseudo diary of mine. here's what's been happening:

(hey saby, ill be using your technique also)
Oct 24- got home around 1am from the airport. i tried calling aidz to let him know that im home. he wasn't answering the phone so i called eli instead. he told sab after. minutes after calling eli, sab called me. i asked her to come over and to my surprise, she actually did. we ended up talking from 2am-6am about stuff. i love talking to sab!

that afternoon, she went with me to mc. haha. funny sab! she got caught or something. it's so hilarious that whenever i think about it, i still laugh my heart out! aidz then picked us up at starbucks. we ate at baang. eli followed then we watched deuce bigalow.

after the movie, we went to sab's house where gi was waiting. gail followed also. we played the Mad Lib game. it was quite entertaining actually. went home early coz my dad was calling me already.

25 - bummed with sab at starbucks, morato 'til late in the afternoon. aidz went to my house around 8pm. i had fun. missed our moments together. we watched that pathetic movie "a --blah-- shame" that i borrowed from sab. it was soooooooo pathetic. aidz went home around 2am, i think.

26 - went to stacbucks morato with sab. gail and gi followed. gail was so entertaning! it's such a nice feeling being with new people once in awhile. thanks to gail and the free coffee plus the free ride.

27 - went to celeb with gail, gi, sab, lex, and ryan. we were supposed to swim at my house but since celeb is free also, dun nalang! i finally had the chance to live one of my dreams! sab, gi, and i played under the rain! shit. i hope nobody knows about my monoblock scattering. hehe. swimming was so much fun even if sab, ryan, and i didnt really swim. lex, gail, and gi were sooo serious about doing those laps. sorry guys, not really my thing. oh and i love the diving part. i hope saby loved it too.. hhihihihihi

28 - sab and jack went to my house. jene made an appearance also. when jack went home, sab and i tried on some clothes for the trick or treat thing here in galleria. we ended up pretending that we're princesses. ;) trish and i won prizes. around 9pm, we went to esgue's house. that was so much fun. i love his room. it's so.. well, cool. we went back to the 90's that night. i now know why i had a crush on nick carter. gawd. boy bands sure did look cute then!

29 - went to visit my lola in the afternoon. we ate at causeway, banawe after. drei picked me up there around 9pm. we followed bubba and the others. they had this dota competition that lasted until 11.30 that night. they won, by the way. im so proud of aidz! anyway, we went to arcadia around 1 am. i had this minor problem when i got there. good thing i had angels: patty and isa. i had so fun that night. gi, i love you too! went home around 4am but i got in my house around 5am already.

30 - finally! a time for myself!

china

its been awhile since i went out of the country. come oct 19, i was having butterflies in my stomach. it seemed impossible for me to absorb the idea that i was going with by bestfriend ning, but when i saw her at the airport, it was finally clear. i was in for a great trip!

now, retelling everything would just be a drag so here's a simpler list:

Chinese things that made me go 'no shit?!':
1. their lavatories are the grossest restrooms ive ever seen in my entire life
2. chinese girls have the same taste in fashion as mine and sab's. seeing all their pormas killed me. i wanted almost everything they wore!
3. never go to china during oct. all you'll be seeing will be winter season clothes. so much for shopping.
4. they love drinking, may it be beer or tea.
5. .. but they'll never give you a glass of water unless you ask for it. and when the water is actually there, all you'll be getting is a steaming glass of water.
6. filipinos, however bastos they can get, are way better than chinese when it comes to values.
7. chinese girls either have soft, straight hair or curly, scary hair
8. you can drive as fast as 140 and still not notice how fast you are.
9. chinese people think im beautiful! (that's the best part!) haha.
10. they have hotels where you can smoke anywhere you want. fuck those insensitive guys who smoked inside the elevators.

china wasn't that great, at least for me, but the people im with were such happy people! looking forward to more out of the country trips with my friends from now on. right mar?
ning, goodmownin!

happy hour

finally. sneaking time once again. it's been awhile since i officially sneaked out of the house. my mom knew about the midnight sneaks two months ago so she had no choice but to let me go out every weekend. she said it was better than sneaking out of the house around 11pm. she was never that strict when i was in ateneo. come to think of it, she was not at all strict when i was there. it just so happened that things didn't turn out the way WE planned it to be, so i guess she had to put discipline in my system again.

the new go-out-every-weekend plan worked, but it wasn't that exciting. there were even times when i didn't want to go out at all. so much for freedom.

felt the excitement yesterday, though. we went to sab's house around 12am. aidz, eli, taker and bok picked me up. i think overwhelmed is the right word to describe the feeling when i saw bok. missed him. anyway, adi followed and bea (sab's sister) woke up just to see eli. and of course to be with me, duh. haha.

i had fun, even if i didnt drink that much. sorry saby, i let you down last night. bawi some other time?

a toast to you all.

each time

why am i getting all these goodbyes?

we nearly broke up this morning... for the nth time. thank god we didn't. it was nobody's fault. everything was clouded by misunderstadings and wrong impressions. nothing too serious. thank god again.

to bubba, it was nice seeing you again after two days. i really missed you.

----
got my grades yesterday. they were good, but not that impressive.

get this guys: i think im becoming so sick of katipunan. i still love it, though. its just the same aura everyday. i just cant help go there. it's such a "home" to me.

was with taker drei jacq and jc at cantina yesterday. that was interesting. went to eli's after to kill time.

li, i was touched when you opened the aircon while i was sleeping. nothing really big, but i was touched. drei deary, thanks for bringing us home.

im so lucky i got sweet friends.
--

oh my god. gotta bounce (yah. the term. but everybody's using it so what the hell). gonna go to sab's place pa.

shake it off

my body hurts big time. alexy, i think im becoming a lola also. i honestly need a rocking chair. yesterday was the most tiring day i've had since summer. when i woke up this morning, i felt like my body was paralyzed and the only thing that i can move was my head. good thing i can move a little now. i know i did bad yesterday. fyi, its the first time i auditioned for anything, and i didnt give my best. i think i did, but i know now that i couldve done something more. tsk. tsk. tsk.

i have such nice guy friends. i wouldnt trade them for the world. even if to them, im one super gaslaw girl who could punch them anytime i want, they still treat me like a princess when aidz is not around. thanks ELI (you're here na), drei, and jp. you have big hearts.

***
moved the trip to oct 20. fuck. wont be able to watch a gig. haha.


***
im having weird feelings about everything again.

***
my parents are bugging me, as always for no reason at all. im so irritated right now.

currently loving: craig david
**feeling like a fool 'cause i let you down.

hoohoo

i dont think i deserve this sembreak.

this last sem has been the lightest, stress-free sem ive ever had. much as i love doing nothing, there are times when i like to be challenged also.

OMG! im off to china on the 23rd. im so psyched about it 'coz its gonna be the very first time im out of a country with an actual friend. in fact, its my bestfriend who's coming with me (along with my parents, that is). but still, its a whole different thing. its usually the family who's with me, and its usually the extended family that we visit. this time, its gonna be me, ning, my parents, and her parents visiting noone but the country itself. our parents are there for business purposes, we're there to make up for all the time we didn't spend together because of school.
ive been having butterflies since last night. i can't wait..

mar, i hope you could come.

---

to my dear sister PATRICIA ROSE SANGALANG, you're our princess, my twin.

a magical day to you! i love you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARY!

tragedy

there are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, and one is to gain it - one tree hill

when i heard that line, i dont know whether to mourn or be happy. it's so true that my life's highlights flashbacked all of a sudden the moment i heard it. they really are tragedies. life is so unfair. it never gives you everything you want. fine, got the point. but can there be times when you can get the best of both worlds? c'mon. even a second or two would be worth all the effort.

its so hard to meet someone you can get along with. its not just the typical "oh we both like spaghetti" kind of connection. its the deeper one. its when you look at the person and you, for some reason, know what he/she is thinking of. its when you laugh at the silliest things, even when all of your other friends think there's nothing funny at all. its when you know you can't sleep without hearing the person's voice. its when you appreciate the littlest of efforts, 'cause that person never really does anything sweet to anyone. its when he/she never tells you his/her exact feelings, but you never really need to hear them. you just know. even when all your friends tell you its nothing at all, you know there's something. and that dear something is the one that keeps you holding on to the last minute.

these kind of people, the ones who make you smile just by thinking of them, pass by only once in our lives. it may last for years, it may last for days. it doesn't really matter. knowing them is an extraordinary experience already.

they'll go eventually. that's the downside. i know they'll go. and when they go, itll hurt. itll hurt a lot. but that hurt wont let us keep crying oceans. itll eventually tells us in the long run that when you had something that with the person, it was good. in fact, "it was the best".

loving - if thats what you call tragedy, then give me tragedy. --payton

to my dear friends who i saw crying just this week, i hope you guys are okay.

uh-oh

friday. was at drew's with mc friends. went home drunk. vomitted all over the place. great kar. next time no more 12 shots in 1 hour. i had fun though.

saturday. went to alex' birthday thing at promenade, greenhills with sab aidz and jp. some of the bitches were there. i missed them! jm, jojie, wanx.. its been awhile since i last saw my ateneo barkada. oh and luigi was there ;)

went to raymond's after. sad to say but it was one of the most boring parties ive ever been to. sorry raymond. i really am.

went to mr. kabab around 3am to eat. amazingly, it was sab and i who were hungry again and not eli nor aidz. my gawd, lundle was there. how unexpected was that?!

wattanight.

sunday. terribly sick ;( i really am. im so dead for my two finals on monday. tsk. ive been trying to study for the past 8 hours but i guess my body can never understand that tomorrow is finals week. ive been lying all day long and i hate it. i want to study but i really cant. other than the two exams, i have a scrapbook to pass. wow.

lesson learned. never go out on a weekend if the week right after that is your finals week.

hear ye.

i suddenly remembered what you did. oh what big eyes you have! my gawd deary, the better to eat you with! im laughing out loud now.

here's the thing. i really want to go to amapulo. looked at some of the pictures awhile ago and it was breathtaking. i hope someone would bring me there. ahem. tss how i wish. i despise elites and their so-called lifestyle. they can go anywhere they want, without even thinking of the money they'll be spending. as to my own expenses, i dont even know if i have one. i literally ask my friends, especially you jacq, to treat me every single day. my money has been declining drastically and i hate it! someday sab, someday. we'll be rich and famous. im gonna be living that im-gonna-meet-a-hollywoodguy someday.

as for now, all i should be worrying about is my finals. but then again, i really don't give a damn about that, so why bother? got my clearance already. fuck! P500 as penalty for the seminars i wasnt able to attend to! fuck. all for the sake of the that lame exam pass.

went to jack's gig last monday at kublais. finally! according to jacq, "wala na kayong lusot ni sab". it was kinda weird seeing your friend sing on stage. it was even weirder knowing that jacq was THE friend who sang on stage. but you were great jacq, and im proud of you. sab and i are. just dont expect us to always show up on one your gigs. you know how we are. ;)

everything's back to normal with me and aidz. i was so scared it wouldnt. thank god. that was close.

sept 26, 2005

happy birthday vernice!

torn

nothings right, im torn.

been thinking a lot these past few days. found out a lot too. some things were so far out, some were basically normal.

i honestly dont know what to do. should i or should i not? its all so complicated. i want to sometimes, but i cant. i definitely cant.

how i hope everything will be back to normal soon.

to my dear friends who always listen, you have big hearts. i love you.

eli's favorite number

List your eight favorite songs and then pick eight people to do the same.

*aly you're such a sweetie! request granted.

1. I'LL BE - Edwin McCain (nakakahiya coz this is such a mainstream song. i think this is everybody's favorite)

2. EACH TIME - East 17

3. Eheads songs. Nothing compares.

4. DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT

5. I NEED YOU - LeAnn Rimes

6. EVER AFTER - Bonnie Bailey (dian i love you)

7. WALKING AFTER YOU - Foo Fighters

8. COLLIDE - Howie Day

uhh the agony of choosing ONLY 8 favorite songs. in truth, ive got millions more! that's as of now, by the way. i might change my list tomorrow.

here's my wishlist:
sab, reji, jack, taker, eli, jinx, gi, aidz

celebrate good times, c'mon! lets celebrate!

here's some birthday highlights:

*** from aly's blog
Isang special greeting para sa special friend kong si…. Kar Sangalang,

Happy Birthday Karky!!

I love you!
*** your so sweet alypot! thank you!

*** this ones from reji's blog
i would like to sincerely apologize to someone really important. i hope you understand, i wanted to come last night but certain reasons failed to permit me. im really sorry Kar. i do hope i can make it up to you in one way or another.

im sure you had a blast last night. aidz is such a sweetie and you're more than lucky enough to have someone like him. cheers to the both of you. :)

HAPPY BIRHTDAY KAREN SANGALANG! :)
may you have many more fun-filled birthdays to come. :) i miss you a lot!
*** its ok reji dear. i miss you as well!


pre-birthday celebration with aidz, eli, taker, japs, doms, adi at Dapo, Tomas Morato
* eli's group hug
* taker's 'happy birthday ka' sabay hug
* japee's candle/tissue
* bub's flower

dinner with the family + aidz, mar, xavier and ning at Kagayaki, Tomas
* same old wacky us (ning, mar, moi)
* papa's innate ability to make a lot of people laugh



surprise party













for more pictures, see karkar0905.multiply.com
;) sorry im too lazy to upload the pictures again. hihi

thanks to those people who greeted me yesterday! to those who were part of the surprise party (whether you were there or not), you guys made my day! a special thanks to you aidz. planning a surprise party aint a bag of chips, you know. thanks to my family also. im grateful for having you guys as my angels. i love life, but i love you more.

birthday blahs

tommorow's my birthday! cant seem to let go of this excitement ive been feeling for the past few weeks. its been like this every year. sleepness nights of wondering whats gonna happen on that special day. oh yes, its a special day ;) it will forever be.

my gawd. im 20 years old already! uhh. the dreaded line of 2. 10 years ago, i assumed that old age starts at 18. tssss! look at me now. a totally irresponsible, playful adult. nothing really changes. im still the childish, pacute, not to mention sweet girl that i was 8 years ago. ha! who cares about maturity when its totally boring being an adult who follows all the rules anyway? at least 30 years from now, i can tell my kids (grandchildren even) that i was a kickass 20 year old! yes, kickass! bwahahaha

im excited for tomorrow. i dont know whats REALLY gonna happen. pucha. im having butterflies again.

slow down

i feel so busy lately. being busy is inversely proportional to kar. kar, being the poser busy person that she is right now, therefore feels like she's in a fast paced environment.

finally had the time to start my sanction thing in school. 10 fucking hours of community service all because of 1) entering the campus without an ID 2) improper attire 3) another improper attire. wattaskul. had to sit alone in one corner for 3 hours yesterday labeling the next gazillion pages of the library's logbook. mind you, those three hours are now candidates for the longest moments of my life category. i should've logged in before Pat, Moya, Chacha and Shai did. they got better jobs. come to think of it, anything would've been way better than what i got. if it wasnt for the new MP3 player papa bought me, i couldve gone crazy. 3 hours done. 7 to go.

after the non-productive 'work', went to tajma to see jack. (hoy jack WAF ka! i got super wet only to find out you left already. waf ka!) went to see aidz after. we had a fight for around 40 mins. haha pathetic fights. i sometimes wonder why we even bother fighting when we both know that we cant stand being mad at each other. watched bravo's game in ateneo. im such a kabarkada. i dont even know who won yesterday. didnt care to actually ask them. ha. made it more obvious that i didnt really give a damn. went there for my friends and not to watch the game anyway.

got my clearance sheet yesterday also. see how hassled i was? gawd. i have so many things to do and pay before i get my permit! get my medical and transcript, finish my sanction, take a psychology test, pay every single seminar, assembly and activities of the school and my orgs that i wasnt able attend to. fuck. the paying part is around P600 this sem. nice one kar.

today. ahh today. had my recollection. learned a lot actually. id rather tell everything next time. i still feel harrassed by all the stuff that im doing lately. all i wanna do is dance the stress away but i cant.

tomorrow, il be having two major exams. what do i know about those two exams? nada. nice one again kar.

pardon me

pardon me while i burst.

gi: "kar may barok kang nasulat sa blog mo"

tsk tsk tsk. its frustrasting when i still make mistakes even when i know the right things to say / write. ha. whatever. waaahhh! i cant believe i used the word fighted! hahahaha. whatever!

anyhoo.

friday. aidz went to my house. its been a long time since he's actually been inside. he brought me blueberry cheesecake! such a sweetie! watched a lot like love. pardon us for being such late watechers of the movie. loved it, by the way. ashton had his ducks in a row: build his own company through the internet, buy himself a nice house, and marry a loving wife. i have my own ducks as well. as for now, here's what i got planned for the next ten years or so:
1. finish the magazine (sab! we better!)
2. graduate
3. marry aidz (shut up you cheeziness haters!)
4. work in an advertising company
5. ...then save enough money to start my own advertising company
6. buy myself a nice condo
7. buy my sister the dog she's been wanting to have

saturday. was at school. cant believe i forced myself to go. i usually wouldnt mind cutting. went to sab's house after. im back to my old bum days. missed you sab! and gi! hehe saturdays at tomas all over again.
happy birthday to third and aica! two of my cutest cousins! i love you both dearly!

sunday. today. went to aica's. as usual. ate a lot. as usual.
read celine lopez' article awhile ago. gawd she's so shallow. she's complaining throughout the entire article because she's so broke and there's nothing she can do about it. pucha. how can she be broke?! how can a person who's labeled as a true blue socialite with a condo just a stone throw away from central park be broke? yeah right. she was telling the readers that when we see her in any boho attire anytime soon, she's not just portraying the poor look like what the olsen twins do, but she's really poor na DAW. how i wish she gets to experience being soooo broke. haha. total bitterness to those who are.

anyway, o gotta go na. papa's calling from china. cant wait to talk to him!

maling akala

Di mo na kailangan magalinlangan
Kung tama ang gagawin mo
Basta't wag kalimutan magdahandahan
Kund di sigurado sa kalalabasan ng binabalak mo.
Maliit na butas lumalaki...
Konting gusot...dumadami....
Di mo maibabaon sa limot at bahala kapag nabulag ka ng maling akala...
May mga kumakalat na balita na ang kaligtasay madaling makuha...
Bago maniwala magisip-isip ka muna
Marami ang namamatay sa maling akala...


Maling Akala #1
Lu. Great Guy! Had fun during our 'inuman' yesterday. May sense ka din pala kausap. I always thought you're this one sabog guy all the time. Technically, you are sabog all the time. Even yesterday i guess. But at least I was able to talk to you. Hehe. Sa uulitin!

Maling Akala #2
Jacq, may mali tayong akala. Lets do something new to our bodies next week. Joy! joy! joy!

Maling Akala #3
Now i know the issue about the Bravo thing. Hehe.

Maling Akala #4
Two years na kami ni Aidz! So to you assholes who thought (and wished) we'd break up after a couple of months, guess you're wrong! We'll forever be! (right bub?)

Maling Akala #5
I can be hardworking after all. Helped Ate Ging sell during the 3day tiangge thing in Miriam. I love selling! I just hate the scorCHING sun part. It was really tiring but according to that oldie cliche, no pain, no gain.

Maling Akala #6
Had my individual orals last wed. My prof never thought i was that smart. I was telling him deep, intellectual terms that were not even asked during the whole "interview". He never thought I could be that "studious" and "learned" daw. Boo-yah. Haha During his class kasi, I'll either be: (1) absent (2) late (3) daydreaming (4)doodling (5) out for 40 mins eating with friends i saw in the caf (6) talking to my seatmates. He gave me an A for a job well done.

Maling Akala #7
Oh no Third! How I hope you're not what we think you are. You know your dad will be mad. But don't worry, whatever you are, I'll still love you like I always do.

Maling Akala #8
Papa's in China again for his new business with Ning's dad. He's always there so Im used to not getting any pasalubong from him when he's there. Id only expect something from him when he's from some country other than China. Anyhoo... he texted mommy yesterday and said that he went shopping for me already. Joy! Joy! Joy!

Maling Akala #9
Bubba's wallet is gone :( How can that be possible when it's only in his room?! To make things worse, it suddenly "disappeared" during our anniversary! Boohoo. At least we found a way to save the day.

nowhere fast

I take a look around
it's evident the scene has changed
and there are times when I feel improved
improved upon the past
and there are times when I
can't seem to understand at all
and yes it seems as though I'm going
nowhere really fucking fast
nowhere fast

Will I ever get to where I'm going
if I do will I know when I'm there?
if the wind blew me in the right direction, yeah
would I even care?
I would



read joseph's blog the other day. it was all about looking for love and "all that jazz". do we all really need someone to call ourselves "happy"? there'll be so many arguments on that but here's what i think.

to love is to live. to live is to love. i dont wanna be a hypocrite and tell you all that love is not that necessary. ive shown pure gusto on love ever since ive experienced it that im telling you now, ill never be jaded because of love.

we all need it but noone has to be crazy begging for one. love will come to those who wait. the more we rush into things, the lesser the chances of making everything work.


so sorry i have to babble love all over again. second anniversary's coming up. monday. excited.

simple life

was at tajma yesterday bumming when two street, german kids approached us - ana and paul. they were showing us handouts made by UP students. they looked sweet. i got the whole afternoon to bum so reading their handouts was not much of a hassle. and so i read. fuck.

their dad was an activist. he was a german humanitarian professor in germany (doi.). well anyway, he fighted for filipinas in germany who were maltreated, raped, blah, blah. and what did he get from that? nothing. come to think of it,he got something way worse than nothing. his family was tricked by the german embassy to leave germany and live in the philippines. when the professor and his kids (two of them happened to be ana and paul) got here, thats when they realized that the german embassy got everything they had in germany. the papers their government gave them stated that they were not allowed to go back to germany anymore. where were they to go? nowhere.

they now live in UP. as in literally in the streets of UP, infront of Palma Hall. the professor got blind and his wife is super sick. ana was in a hit and run accident already. paul, the cute kid, got raped by many rugby boys near sta. lucia already. fuck this world.

its so sad. the professor fought for equality and he didnt get that. its all so ironic.

i love what kurt said: "nothing good comes out of doing good". so right kurt. hats off to you for buying the professor his medicine!

everything's ok in the end, see?

we're okay. i think.

the bulacan trip was tremendously horrible but everythings ok now. im back in manila. i dont wanna go back to that place anymore. call me maarte, whatever, i dont care at all. good thing gaf, andal, yana, madel and our pseudo blockmate lye were there to make the trip more memorable.

my prof agreed not to fail me due to absences anymore. wooww!

bub i miss you. i havent seen you since saturday.

fuck. speaking of bub, our second anniversary is coming up. got things planned already. help me out guys oki? got a lot of things to do. bub we'll have fun on monday! im so excited.

anyway, i think i better go. i dont wanna be late for the supposed to be dropped class of mine. just used the free internet of this intel truck parked in our school.

tata for now.