hear ye.

i suddenly remembered what you did. oh what big eyes you have! my gawd deary, the better to eat you with! im laughing out loud now.

here's the thing. i really want to go to amapulo. looked at some of the pictures awhile ago and it was breathtaking. i hope someone would bring me there. ahem. tss how i wish. i despise elites and their so-called lifestyle. they can go anywhere they want, without even thinking of the money they'll be spending. as to my own expenses, i dont even know if i have one. i literally ask my friends, especially you jacq, to treat me every single day. my money has been declining drastically and i hate it! someday sab, someday. we'll be rich and famous. im gonna be living that im-gonna-meet-a-hollywoodguy someday.

as for now, all i should be worrying about is my finals. but then again, i really don't give a damn about that, so why bother? got my clearance already. fuck! P500 as penalty for the seminars i wasnt able to attend to! fuck. all for the sake of the that lame exam pass.

went to jack's gig last monday at kublais. finally! according to jacq, "wala na kayong lusot ni sab". it was kinda weird seeing your friend sing on stage. it was even weirder knowing that jacq was THE friend who sang on stage. but you were great jacq, and im proud of you. sab and i are. just dont expect us to always show up on one your gigs. you know how we are. ;)

everything's back to normal with me and aidz. i was so scared it wouldnt. thank god. that was close.

sept 26, 2005

happy birthday vernice!

torn

nothings right, im torn.

been thinking a lot these past few days. found out a lot too. some things were so far out, some were basically normal.

i honestly dont know what to do. should i or should i not? its all so complicated. i want to sometimes, but i cant. i definitely cant.

how i hope everything will be back to normal soon.

to my dear friends who always listen, you have big hearts. i love you.

eli's favorite number

List your eight favorite songs and then pick eight people to do the same.

*aly you're such a sweetie! request granted.

1. I'LL BE - Edwin McCain (nakakahiya coz this is such a mainstream song. i think this is everybody's favorite)

2. EACH TIME - East 17

3. Eheads songs. Nothing compares.

4. DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT

5. I NEED YOU - LeAnn Rimes

6. EVER AFTER - Bonnie Bailey (dian i love you)

7. WALKING AFTER YOU - Foo Fighters

8. COLLIDE - Howie Day

uhh the agony of choosing ONLY 8 favorite songs. in truth, ive got millions more! that's as of now, by the way. i might change my list tomorrow.

here's my wishlist:
sab, reji, jack, taker, eli, jinx, gi, aidz

celebrate good times, c'mon! lets celebrate!

here's some birthday highlights:

*** from aly's blog
Isang special greeting para sa special friend kong si…. Kar Sangalang,

Happy Birthday Karky!!

I love you!
*** your so sweet alypot! thank you!

*** this ones from reji's blog
i would like to sincerely apologize to someone really important. i hope you understand, i wanted to come last night but certain reasons failed to permit me. im really sorry Kar. i do hope i can make it up to you in one way or another.

im sure you had a blast last night. aidz is such a sweetie and you're more than lucky enough to have someone like him. cheers to the both of you. :)

HAPPY BIRHTDAY KAREN SANGALANG! :)
may you have many more fun-filled birthdays to come. :) i miss you a lot!
*** its ok reji dear. i miss you as well!


pre-birthday celebration with aidz, eli, taker, japs, doms, adi at Dapo, Tomas Morato
* eli's group hug
* taker's 'happy birthday ka' sabay hug
* japee's candle/tissue
* bub's flower

dinner with the family + aidz, mar, xavier and ning at Kagayaki, Tomas
* same old wacky us (ning, mar, moi)
* papa's innate ability to make a lot of people laugh



surprise party













for more pictures, see karkar0905.multiply.com
;) sorry im too lazy to upload the pictures again. hihi

thanks to those people who greeted me yesterday! to those who were part of the surprise party (whether you were there or not), you guys made my day! a special thanks to you aidz. planning a surprise party aint a bag of chips, you know. thanks to my family also. im grateful for having you guys as my angels. i love life, but i love you more.

birthday blahs

tommorow's my birthday! cant seem to let go of this excitement ive been feeling for the past few weeks. its been like this every year. sleepness nights of wondering whats gonna happen on that special day. oh yes, its a special day ;) it will forever be.

my gawd. im 20 years old already! uhh. the dreaded line of 2. 10 years ago, i assumed that old age starts at 18. tssss! look at me now. a totally irresponsible, playful adult. nothing really changes. im still the childish, pacute, not to mention sweet girl that i was 8 years ago. ha! who cares about maturity when its totally boring being an adult who follows all the rules anyway? at least 30 years from now, i can tell my kids (grandchildren even) that i was a kickass 20 year old! yes, kickass! bwahahaha

im excited for tomorrow. i dont know whats REALLY gonna happen. pucha. im having butterflies again.

slow down

i feel so busy lately. being busy is inversely proportional to kar. kar, being the poser busy person that she is right now, therefore feels like she's in a fast paced environment.

finally had the time to start my sanction thing in school. 10 fucking hours of community service all because of 1) entering the campus without an ID 2) improper attire 3) another improper attire. wattaskul. had to sit alone in one corner for 3 hours yesterday labeling the next gazillion pages of the library's logbook. mind you, those three hours are now candidates for the longest moments of my life category. i should've logged in before Pat, Moya, Chacha and Shai did. they got better jobs. come to think of it, anything would've been way better than what i got. if it wasnt for the new MP3 player papa bought me, i couldve gone crazy. 3 hours done. 7 to go.

after the non-productive 'work', went to tajma to see jack. (hoy jack WAF ka! i got super wet only to find out you left already. waf ka!) went to see aidz after. we had a fight for around 40 mins. haha pathetic fights. i sometimes wonder why we even bother fighting when we both know that we cant stand being mad at each other. watched bravo's game in ateneo. im such a kabarkada. i dont even know who won yesterday. didnt care to actually ask them. ha. made it more obvious that i didnt really give a damn. went there for my friends and not to watch the game anyway.

got my clearance sheet yesterday also. see how hassled i was? gawd. i have so many things to do and pay before i get my permit! get my medical and transcript, finish my sanction, take a psychology test, pay every single seminar, assembly and activities of the school and my orgs that i wasnt able attend to. fuck. the paying part is around P600 this sem. nice one kar.

today. ahh today. had my recollection. learned a lot actually. id rather tell everything next time. i still feel harrassed by all the stuff that im doing lately. all i wanna do is dance the stress away but i cant.

tomorrow, il be having two major exams. what do i know about those two exams? nada. nice one again kar.

pardon me

pardon me while i burst.

gi: "kar may barok kang nasulat sa blog mo"

tsk tsk tsk. its frustrasting when i still make mistakes even when i know the right things to say / write. ha. whatever. waaahhh! i cant believe i used the word fighted! hahahaha. whatever!

anyhoo.

friday. aidz went to my house. its been a long time since he's actually been inside. he brought me blueberry cheesecake! such a sweetie! watched a lot like love. pardon us for being such late watechers of the movie. loved it, by the way. ashton had his ducks in a row: build his own company through the internet, buy himself a nice house, and marry a loving wife. i have my own ducks as well. as for now, here's what i got planned for the next ten years or so:
1. finish the magazine (sab! we better!)
2. graduate
3. marry aidz (shut up you cheeziness haters!)
4. work in an advertising company
5. ...then save enough money to start my own advertising company
6. buy myself a nice condo
7. buy my sister the dog she's been wanting to have

saturday. was at school. cant believe i forced myself to go. i usually wouldnt mind cutting. went to sab's house after. im back to my old bum days. missed you sab! and gi! hehe saturdays at tomas all over again.
happy birthday to third and aica! two of my cutest cousins! i love you both dearly!

sunday. today. went to aica's. as usual. ate a lot. as usual.
read celine lopez' article awhile ago. gawd she's so shallow. she's complaining throughout the entire article because she's so broke and there's nothing she can do about it. pucha. how can she be broke?! how can a person who's labeled as a true blue socialite with a condo just a stone throw away from central park be broke? yeah right. she was telling the readers that when we see her in any boho attire anytime soon, she's not just portraying the poor look like what the olsen twins do, but she's really poor na DAW. how i wish she gets to experience being soooo broke. haha. total bitterness to those who are.

anyway, o gotta go na. papa's calling from china. cant wait to talk to him!

maling akala

Di mo na kailangan magalinlangan
Kung tama ang gagawin mo
Basta't wag kalimutan magdahandahan
Kund di sigurado sa kalalabasan ng binabalak mo.
Maliit na butas lumalaki...
Konting gusot...dumadami....
Di mo maibabaon sa limot at bahala kapag nabulag ka ng maling akala...
May mga kumakalat na balita na ang kaligtasay madaling makuha...
Bago maniwala magisip-isip ka muna
Marami ang namamatay sa maling akala...


Maling Akala #1
Lu. Great Guy! Had fun during our 'inuman' yesterday. May sense ka din pala kausap. I always thought you're this one sabog guy all the time. Technically, you are sabog all the time. Even yesterday i guess. But at least I was able to talk to you. Hehe. Sa uulitin!

Maling Akala #2
Jacq, may mali tayong akala. Lets do something new to our bodies next week. Joy! joy! joy!

Maling Akala #3
Now i know the issue about the Bravo thing. Hehe.

Maling Akala #4
Two years na kami ni Aidz! So to you assholes who thought (and wished) we'd break up after a couple of months, guess you're wrong! We'll forever be! (right bub?)

Maling Akala #5
I can be hardworking after all. Helped Ate Ging sell during the 3day tiangge thing in Miriam. I love selling! I just hate the scorCHING sun part. It was really tiring but according to that oldie cliche, no pain, no gain.

Maling Akala #6
Had my individual orals last wed. My prof never thought i was that smart. I was telling him deep, intellectual terms that were not even asked during the whole "interview". He never thought I could be that "studious" and "learned" daw. Boo-yah. Haha During his class kasi, I'll either be: (1) absent (2) late (3) daydreaming (4)doodling (5) out for 40 mins eating with friends i saw in the caf (6) talking to my seatmates. He gave me an A for a job well done.

Maling Akala #7
Oh no Third! How I hope you're not what we think you are. You know your dad will be mad. But don't worry, whatever you are, I'll still love you like I always do.

Maling Akala #8
Papa's in China again for his new business with Ning's dad. He's always there so Im used to not getting any pasalubong from him when he's there. Id only expect something from him when he's from some country other than China. Anyhoo... he texted mommy yesterday and said that he went shopping for me already. Joy! Joy! Joy!

Maling Akala #9
Bubba's wallet is gone :( How can that be possible when it's only in his room?! To make things worse, it suddenly "disappeared" during our anniversary! Boohoo. At least we found a way to save the day.

nowhere fast

I take a look around
it's evident the scene has changed
and there are times when I feel improved
improved upon the past
and there are times when I
can't seem to understand at all
and yes it seems as though I'm going
nowhere really fucking fast
nowhere fast

Will I ever get to where I'm going
if I do will I know when I'm there?
if the wind blew me in the right direction, yeah
would I even care?
I would



read joseph's blog the other day. it was all about looking for love and "all that jazz". do we all really need someone to call ourselves "happy"? there'll be so many arguments on that but here's what i think.

to love is to live. to live is to love. i dont wanna be a hypocrite and tell you all that love is not that necessary. ive shown pure gusto on love ever since ive experienced it that im telling you now, ill never be jaded because of love.

we all need it but noone has to be crazy begging for one. love will come to those who wait. the more we rush into things, the lesser the chances of making everything work.


so sorry i have to babble love all over again. second anniversary's coming up. monday. excited.

simple life

was at tajma yesterday bumming when two street, german kids approached us - ana and paul. they were showing us handouts made by UP students. they looked sweet. i got the whole afternoon to bum so reading their handouts was not much of a hassle. and so i read. fuck.

their dad was an activist. he was a german humanitarian professor in germany (doi.). well anyway, he fighted for filipinas in germany who were maltreated, raped, blah, blah. and what did he get from that? nothing. come to think of it,he got something way worse than nothing. his family was tricked by the german embassy to leave germany and live in the philippines. when the professor and his kids (two of them happened to be ana and paul) got here, thats when they realized that the german embassy got everything they had in germany. the papers their government gave them stated that they were not allowed to go back to germany anymore. where were they to go? nowhere.

they now live in UP. as in literally in the streets of UP, infront of Palma Hall. the professor got blind and his wife is super sick. ana was in a hit and run accident already. paul, the cute kid, got raped by many rugby boys near sta. lucia already. fuck this world.

its so sad. the professor fought for equality and he didnt get that. its all so ironic.

i love what kurt said: "nothing good comes out of doing good". so right kurt. hats off to you for buying the professor his medicine!

everything's ok in the end, see?

we're okay. i think.

the bulacan trip was tremendously horrible but everythings ok now. im back in manila. i dont wanna go back to that place anymore. call me maarte, whatever, i dont care at all. good thing gaf, andal, yana, madel and our pseudo blockmate lye were there to make the trip more memorable.

my prof agreed not to fail me due to absences anymore. wooww!

bub i miss you. i havent seen you since saturday.

fuck. speaking of bub, our second anniversary is coming up. got things planned already. help me out guys oki? got a lot of things to do. bub we'll have fun on monday! im so excited.

anyway, i think i better go. i dont wanna be late for the supposed to be dropped class of mine. just used the free internet of this intel truck parked in our school.

tata for now.

this one's for reji.

What are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?
bum in my room. (yah, i know. so sad. i bum even when im alone.)
blog.
find someone who'll talk to me over the phone.
read. (fuck im such a poser. i only do that when im motivated.)
dance as much as i want to.
sing as loud as i want to.
pluck my eyebrows. (its s addictive!)

What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?

yosi.
sleep.
aidz moments. really.
food.
especially fries.
my perky friends.
jokes. (trust me. i can take even the corniest ones.)

7 things that scare you:

snakes. ohh phobia. if only i could kill all the snakes in the world.
being alone.
death.
ghosts.
being very very very poor. (oh my gawd im sorry. this is such a pathetic, feeling, irritating answer but its so true. havent you thought of it yourself?)
separation.

7 things you like the most:

so sorry but i cant answer this. according to everyone, i love everything. there all such favorites!

7 important things in your bedroom:

box of letters.
pictures.
cds.
boom box. (ooh yeah.)
clothes.
gifts from other people.
accessories.

7 random facts about you:

bum.
fun.
funny.
cute. (this is my blog!)
pacute. (fine.)
sweet.
irresistable. (again, this is my blog)

7 things you plan to do before you die:

travel the world.
marry aidz. (gawd.)
actualize my dream advertising company.
think of a commercial's concept/script.
become famous.
tell my mom i love you in person.
witness a miracle. (a walk to remember poser)

7 things you can do:

raise my eyebrows alternately. (ooohh)
love.
crafty stuff.
write sad stories. (i swear. i only tell my "created" stories to aidz)
be childish to get what i want.
make people laugh.
emcee-ing.

7 things you can't do:

sing. (my frustration.)
break up with someone without feeling guilty. i usually dont.
betray my true friends.
eat a vegetarian meal.
kill myself.
look at a snake's picture.
take a bath without my radio.

7 things that attract you to the opposite sex:

humor.
personality.
smile.
eyes.
wit.
hair.
likes/dislikes of the person.

7 things you say the most:

so?
whatever!
di nga?
oh!
bubba you miss me?
love you!
seryoso?

7 celeb crushes:

ryan philippe.
angelina jolie.
chad michael murray.
wendell ramos.
justin timberlake.
freddie prince jr. (sometimes)
chris evans

7 people that you want to take this quiz:
aidz (bub take this quiz post it here)
jacq
sab
taker
eli
marla
ning

brighter than sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you.. What a feeling...

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine. And its brighter than sunshine

*a real, messy, beautiful, twisted, sunshine bub. what a feeling.

it will take time i guess

to the ones i hurt, im so sorry.


to bub. sorry. thanks. we almost had another breakup. hope you understand why i was kinda drunk with the girls last time.
everything is just so different when im with you guys. i know they accept me for being so magaslaw and makulit already, but its just so weird being that way when im the only the girl there. i miss dancing bub. i danced with the girls and everything was so new to me again. why dont you come along next time. miko's?

to you guys, its not that i hate you now. in all truth, i still love you. i just dont know if i should still listen to everything you guys say. if you're gonna rant about something, rant in full details. i dont like hearing super biased stories. if you're wrong, you're wrong. if you're both wrong, then you're both wrong. just admit what you know and what you dont know rather than making something up.
oh and one more thing, please dont go telling other people that you dont wanna be with us anymore. dont go pretending that you dont ever wanna tell us anything anymore coz the moment you dont have any place to go or any friends to be with, you immediately text us. if you're irritated, then you're irritated. if you wanna be part of the circle, then dont go telling other people that you'll never ever want to be with us again. thats kinda hurting you know. fine. we did something bad. we know. maybe we should talk. or maybe we shouldnt. lets just clarify everything. and please. everything this time.

im sorry. really sorry.

not to worry, everything will be ok in the end. if its not ok, then its not the end. right?

miriam, oh miriam

im starting to love miriam. woooohhhhh..

i love them. they're so transparent. everything they do is as real as they get. no pretentions. no posers. well at least those i really know.

cheers to carmi and her bucket. thea, you'll always be my favorite vanity. pat you're always funny. and alex, yes alex. we're close na. nice eating ox brain with you.

glad to have known these people. and more. im ecstatic now

chamelion

lets stop with all the bs-ing.

cut all the crap.

truth.

week long drama

i finally have the time to update my dear blog after a week, i think. so here's a week full blahness.

MONDAY (new stuff day)
for the first time, jacq and i tried being independent. we tried commuting from katipunan to robinson's metroeast. poor us. we looked like 3yr old kids looking for our mommys. seriously, we looked stupid. any snatcher could have gotten everything we had. so much for independence jack! some bad situations end differently though. because of our 'stupidity' (shit jack sorry is stupidity such a strong word for us?), we got to meet ish. a schoolmate of jack. he's nice.
had my hearing that day also. fuck discipline committees. they're such kill joys.
sab entertained us with her KOKOLOGY thing. i must admit, kokology can be very addictive.

TUESDAY (exercise day)
cut two of my classes. played two games (with five sets each) of table tennis in the morning. it was so tiring. won one game and well, lost the other. in the afternoon, went jogging with jack in moro, ateneo. poser. exercise will never be my forte. i hate it. exercise hates me.

WEDNESDAY
bum

THURSDAY
bum again. i finally made a decision. im going to bulacan next weekend instead of caliraya. gaf, better make sure you do your part. we had a deal.

FRIDAY
went to seatles tomas with sab to do our mag layouts. went to her house after. aidz went there too. after an hour of nonsense drama, we finally said goodbye to sab (who i guess was in an awkward situation already). aidz kasi e. you didnt go to my house ;( tuloy inarte attack ako. anyway, he treated me to mcdo (yumm) then we're off to jack's. drank two 1/2 bottles of beer. woohoo! haha.
last stop: my house. fun!

SATURDAY
had a meeting with our magazine's business consultant (a.k.a my dad). im actually happy that he's our consultant. i think my dad's a great businessman. i wanna be sort of like him when i grow up. (singit. he opened a new business with tito ben recently. import export from china. not the tutuban type of business. just bragging. oh and go to his school fresh college grads! bragging again.)
anyhoo... my head hurt during the meeting because of all the terms my dad was trying to teach us. uhh. plus i didnt smoke during the whole meeting! i hate that feeling. went to dior's after. it was fun seeing high school friends under one roof. missed ning again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIOR! I LOVE YOU

irresponsible

walked out of two of my classes today. everything is such a routine now. i wake up around 5.30. i go to katipunan for my morning dose of yosi. i go to school to attend my undefineably boring subjects. i usually dont gain anything new or intersting from those classes. boo-hoo.

boring. boring. boring.

im at the library right now (just got out of one of my classes). fuck. see how exciting this day is?! everything is so boring. i dont wanna go to my next class. NSTP sucks big time. but i have to.

gotta follow the routine now.

got the time?

watched 'if only' with sab awhile ago.

according to peyton (from one tree hill), people always leave. if that's true, then what's the point of being close to someone? maybe thats why there are a lot of people who build walls like there's no tomorrow. they sharpen their spikes everytime they get to know others, thinking they'll eventually get hurt.

yes. its true. people always leave. so what then? i once received a quote from a friend. it said that time is the most precious gift you could give to someone because by allowing that person to share moments with you, youre giving him/her the time of your life that you could never take back. why do we really have to think of losing someone when we could think of how special it is having the person we love at the present? ***my favorite cousin left for the states. sab's leaving when she graduates. everybodys graduating (no more bumming for me at katipunan everyday).
wenki will be working in bacolod. gawd i need to stop now.

ive always demanded time from my cousins and friends. partly because im not given the 'special' time at home, i guess. time has always been precious to me. a minute beside someone doing nothing but 'closeness' is better than an all night partying with people. we can never get to know all the people we love beyond skin deep. too bad. if only there was enough time.

imagine, if nobody really left, then whats the point of time in this world? everybody wouldve taken each other for granted. time allows us to appreciate people. time indirectly teaches us to show and feel love. time tells us that it is not everyday that we get the chance to tell someone how we really feel. time tells us that until we have the time, we gotta do what we gotta do.

breakups, death, or distance doesnt put an end to love. it doesnt put an end to what happened between two people during the time they're together. how could guys from the navy stand the loneliness of being separated from their families if not for the time and memories they shared? memories and time spent with a person last longer. even those that we try to forget.



to those ive spent time with, its been a pleasure. thanks for giving me part of your lives. 'my heart is yours now.'

she's back!

YUP! she's definitely back! my favorite cousin ate ging is back. she surprised everybody with her 'comeback'! even her mom doesnt know! i missed you like hell!

im glad you're here. everything seems to be more peaceful and fun when you're here. i really missed you.

droopy

perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to
those who hardly think about us in return
--- Lucas, One Tree Hill

i hate missing people. its torture.

young at heart

we all feel so old sometimes. (especially when you're a college student in katipunan and you regularly see high school KIDS doing what you do).. so here's a list of realizations that would make you wanna face the reality that we're all getting old.

1. you begin to have nieces and nephews
2. you suddenly realize that your friends all have long term relationships. its really freaky thinking that these relationships might actually end up in marriage.
3. you start worrying about jobs and money (now that majority of my batchmates are graduating already)
4. you start limiting your gimmiks to house inumans and frequent get togethers
5. you start getting irritated with high school students who act like they own the world. its like all the stuff you know, they know as well! gawd!
6. you get shocked with what other kids do these days. uh-oh.... age gaps!
7. your younger siblings and cousins start having relationships of their own..ooohhh
8. you start talking about politics (for real!)
9. you also start talking about business (sab, lets finish our mag na!)
10. and of course, when you start discussing, contemplating, analyzing and bitching about relationships.

everybody's so scared of getting old. its just a matter of searching for that child deep within you that would bring you back to neverland. im just so happy i went through all those sh*t KIDS "normally" go through. everyone has to at some point. otherwise, life would be a big disappointment.

gotta go back to being not-so-old now.

please

here's a list of pleas. bub this one's for you.

1. please let me prove to you that i dont have the capacity to cheat, especially now that im with you. i know you still think that i could cheat on you whenever i want to. i hope you know that that's way out of my league already. been there. done that. past is past. people could change you know. i can. please understand that i can never do anything to lose you. you're way too precious.

2. please stop using such hurtful words. they last longer you know.

3. please trust me. trust has been the most controversial issue in our relationship. lets start trusting each other. lets see what magic we can make from actually believing in each other.

4. please dont ever go. you know the pathetic boomerang that i am. i know you cant go on without me also (sorry feeling) so all we basically gotta do is compromise.

5. please dont think of me as a bad, flirt girlfriend 'cause i am really not.

6. please dont say that i am not giving. for the past two years, ive given you everything i could possibly give. i know a lot of people could attest to that.

7. please surprise me na. hehe

8. please be more open minded.you know what i mean.

9. please be more patient with me. i know i can be the most irritating crab. even i hate myself for being such a crab. im so sorry.

10. please think about all the things ive written. i love you.


This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow

se7en questions

things i vow to do in a month.
3. fix up my room, and i mean clean it up and throw away all the clutter.
2. do something new with aidz
1. get a haircut

movies i recently saw that i absolutely loved.
3. my sassy girl (thanks to the wonderful joseph!)
2. batman begins (never really loved action movies but this ones different)
1. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (bittersweet. the greatest imitation of love)

things that made me happy over the weekend.
3. was at sab's house (as usual). inom lang (thats the way to end a weekend)
2. talked to someone
1. got to see my cousins again after two weeks of being left alone at home (missed them)

favorite daydreams of the moment.
3. being skinny with a closet full of fabulous clothes that accentuates my perfect bod
2. having one successful advertising company
1. getting married (at the moment a)

things i miss doing.
3. hanging out with my real ateneo barkada
2. being with my two bestfriends mar and ning
1. eating pancit canton

things that made me go "ooh".
3. new, INTERESTING facts, trivia, whatevere
2. 1st season DVD series of One Tree Hill (somebody please give me one!)
1. moments with aidz (sorry cheezy)


my seventh question:

stc 101

got this from aly's blog. amazingly funny and true.


1. theresians are simple. we're one of a kind. we could blend in with anyone, anytime. we're such laidback people that when you put us together with a group of guys, we'd immediately be one of them (unlike those other girls who tend to be more girlie girlie and pacute around boys).

2. loved being a flag raiser! such an honor!

3. for the record, PDOEAS: poor, depressed, oppressed, exploited, aware, and struggling

4. my ties (plural of course. i had around 6 ties in 1 school year) served as pencilcases!

5. PALIHAN is the ultimate getaway.

6. ....a heart generous and great.. burning with zeal for the lord.. a trail you blaze for the kingdom.. of truth, of justice and of peace...

7. never really learned tiyakad. damn you stilts!

8. resourcefulness is to winning a best costume award during your dance production

9. ADVANS are for normal people. when you're cool, you'll wear KED's! hahaha

10. food fest = free food fest

11. never did this actually. though i ate kare-kare, fried chicken, sinigang, adobo and chips in class

12. McDo Retiro WAS (or still is?) the place to be! everybody who's anybody was expected to bum there especially during fridays!

13. owners of the heights studio should be millionares by now from the profit they get from theresians. every week is picture week.

14. where?

15. true. true.

i love that i am a theresian! miss my stc friends :(

what now

Love
same old same old.
haay. ive been explaining that to aidz last night. you see, i was never really used to long term relationships. nor am i used to being so.... loyal. fine. super feeling na pakinggan, but those stuff are definitely not my forte. though im really loving every minute with aidz, there's always this something in me that screams "I NEED SOMETHING NEW!". ewan ko ba. its not that im bored or anything naman. in fact, im contented with him pa nga e. pucha... isn't it ironic? dont you think? a little too ironic. yeah, i really do think. GOING BACK, i think i just need something to stop the whole routine thing. its really hard for me to explain everything im feeling right now. everytime i try to tell him my feelings, he never gets my real, exact point.
oh...we had this poser huge fight last night. i told him not to text, call, or try to see me for the next whole week. i told him that 'cause he called me selfish and so not giving. pucha! i may be selfish in a whole lot of ways but im purely giving to you aidz! anyway, there i was again this morning. the same pathetic kar. after all the "dont text me for a whole week" thing, i was the one who texted him (as usual). i even asked him to go to me even if i demandingly told him the night before not to. shit im so pathetic. hay nako. for the record, he did come. cant resist me daw e! hahaha
grabe. im such a boomerang when it comes to love. he could throw me anywhere but ill always go back to him. oh well. relationships talaga. cant live with them; cant live without them.

Life with Friends
last saturday was such a long day. went to katipunan. met up with sab. did some stuff for the mag. went to sab's house. made 84 sandwiches. went to camille's party. went to marco's house after. home by 4am.

camille was so pretty during her party. her boyfriend gwen is so friendly! i never felt out of place there. they were all so welcoming. such filipinos! by the way, that was officially my first miriam party. way to go kar!

marco's party was the highlight of my day (other than the fact that i was with bub)! i had so much fun! sab and i were way sooo perky that night. i cant even determine whether i was down when i got home because of the beer i drank (haha poser tomador!)or the perkiness! i saw 'he who must not be named' dance again. ewwwww! hahahaha saw some old faces there like lee and luigi. weird! those were my first two crushes in admu! wow. such revelations. there were some 'always there' faces too like chino, charles, dino, fred, jp, moch, li blah blah... one thing i loved about that night is that i got to meet new people: bboy and d.a. i miss meeting new people! love it!

everybody gets their share of boredom

its been like this ever since. everytime i watch a cheezy anything (name it! movie, tv show, documentary, whatever), i cant help but think of my own cheezy future. whatever i see on TV, i replay it with me and aidz as the main characters. its always so pathetic but i love it. i love being so futuristic. it makes me a happier person knowing that something good MIGHT be waiting for me in the near future.

just watched one tree hill awhile ago. no other tv show could make me cry (okay so there's sex and the city also). every tree hill show gives me a totally different feeling. not your ordinary teeny thing. it shows you what life is really about. bittersweet sobra. ****ahem ahem to those who wanna buy me a present, buy get me a complete copy of seasons 1 and 2..hahaha****

watched newlyweds also. its so funny how nick and jessica found each other. its so amazing how nick withstands jessica's dumbness. its so funny how jessica withstands nick's bum life (considering that his singing career has come to its downfall already). theyre not the perfect couple to other people but to me, they're pretty close to being one. i love them. they love each other. thats what really matters anyway so the hell with what others think of them.

tangna i better stop watching those cheezy stuff. it sometimes gets the best out of me.

isnt it obvious that i didnt do much today?
wasnt able to see my aidz today. i miss you.

special thanks to: inigo and his condo!

isabel

i never really told sab this, but i once told aidz that i was very glad i met her. she's pretty different. in a person's whole lifetime, its hard to meet someone who could really understand and accept you for who you are. its hard to meet someone who have almost the same ideas and views in life as you do.

similarities
-sab and i love to bum. thats how i got close to her again. big thanks to bumming! even if we dont do anything when we bum, just the feeling of 'tranquility' that bumming brings gives us a sense of contentness. during weekends, i see to it that i bum with her even if i have no means of doing so.

-we love people. may it be with them or surrounded by them. if there's one thing we share (other than everything), its the need to be in a place full of people.

-its hard to explain how we often compliment each other's ideas. we usually have the same ideas. may it about business, politics, showbiz, criticizing people, school, friends, and so much much much more.

-when you really think about it, we ALMOST have the same lifestyle. ewan. sabi ni bub.

-we love ukay ukay clothes. may they be stolen or not.

-we love love. we love the idea of forever (i'm more vocal about it though). we love the feeling of loving (her sy and my ayala) and the feeling of being loved. admit it sab, we're both pathetic rin (fine. im more pathetic than you are. i just wanna have a 'kasama'). when she slept over at my place last summer, we talked about the cheezy stuff. its really fun to talk about love and its corniness with someone who thinks of love the same way you do.

-we're both very very slow people. physically slow a. we can walk fast when needed but otherwise, hell no.

-we love telling stories to each other. thats one thing i love to do. everytime somthings come up, i make sure that i tell her every single detail.

-we're both such pretty, fabulous people

differences
-she's less strict with sy than i am.

-our eating habits. i eat a lot she doesnt.

-our families. i love her family. thats why i love going to her house. i feel so comfortable there as compared to my own house. i feel so controlled here. there, i can be myself and have fun.

-our nails. she has long nails i dont. (pathetic comparison)

its hard to find a real friend. when you actually find one, then you're lucky. im lucky i got sab. i could picture us already.. two old (yet still ravishing)lolas, playing majong on weekdays, talking about our grandchildren. saby has this aura of being so irresistably loveable.

SABBY dear, you know for a fact that i love being with you. you're my everlasting daylight!

its them bitches that matter

tangna. its been an effin' (woohoo! finally got to use the word!) looooooooong time since i last saw my real ateneo barkada. it felt good seeing all of them again in one place cause i usually see them one at a time lang.

really missed hanging out with these people! i used to see them almost everyday (including sundays sometimes yan a)for three years. their condos were my houses. i miss making them laugh (especially jm). i miss singing with them. i miss criticizing other people with them. i miss them all. they used to know every little thing that was happening in my forever feeling colorful life. now that we dont get to talk anymore, its so sad that when i see them all together, its like im just one of the "plus one". its really hard to relate especially now that i havent really talked to them for two semesters already.

i know its my fault. i was the one who stopped hangin out with them. not that i dont want to. its just so different when i get out of school e. basta. so hard to explain. wanx, i still love your condo. its the best haven. how i hope that by this entry, i could somehow makeup for some pf the bum moments i missed with them.

here are my bitches:

dian: for some reason, ive come to love her weird weirdness (haha) already! she's the ultimate partygirl. come nighttime and she's out! bumming with this girl can be so hilarious. as in super. we laugh a lot. doesnt really matter what its about as long as were laughing. hey, i miss that. i miss dian. you better come back here dian! even if she has this rollercoaster relationships with guys, i know for a fact that my dear pretty dian is just waiting for her prince charming to come save her.

jm: my ultimate singing partner. as usual, he'd give me the rap parts and he'd sing the girl parts of the song. ahh my dear mmmilkman. he'd laugh at any joke i tell him. im his favorite joker! loves it! with everything ive been through in college, he's one of the few people who could really give me good advices. i know that il always have him and how i hope he knows that he'l always have me. such a sweetie my jm is. there's really no dull moment with him.

wenki: wenkityas, wenkityas! sobrang gaan ng loob ko kay wenks. i was never intimidated to tell her my dirty little secrets (well nung orsem i was scared. cge na i admit it na). grabe wenki is such a laidback person. that's why i love hanging out with her. plus she's the only one who imitates my magaslaw and makulit moves. its so funny when we do stupid stuff together. how i miss her house in bacolod. how i hope i could go back there soon.

jojie: the ever so unpredictable chocho. hihihihi the normal chocho is conservative and reserved. the kalog is chocho is makulit and magaslaw. oh and a good imitator of people pa pala. the drunk chocho is loud and funny. hehehe i admire chocho's goodness. really. i admire her for being so close to her mom as well. girls like cho are one of a kind. haha. i actually remember marla when i think of cho. my chinita friend!!!!! feeling chinita din ako, ok lang?

alex:mmm! ALEXA! KALA MO DI KITA MAKIKILALA NO? (vaseline commercial). alex is my ever so bubbly friend. she's really pretty. well cge na nga, her whole family is pretty. hehe. she lives near me lang but we never really got to go to each other's house for nonsense reasons. we should do that someday alex. everybody loves alex. she always has this smile on her face whether she's happy or frustrated. i adore her sense of style. super astig lang. and to think she's not really the overly expensive buyer pa. i love her cool mom cause she's so.. umm... cool! duh?

jen: jen is the twin sister of alex. they somehow think alike na. because they're together most of the time, they seemingly start to look like each other. as in parang twins na talaga. but thats ok. they're both pretty naman e. jen is such a sweet girl. i miss our talks about love.. and life.. and the shit. she was the one who influenced me to make my own scrapbook. guru! oh and she was the first person to let me use tampons. hehe il never forget that! tangna, just remembered, we (as in the two of us lang) used to go to up just to eat isaw and kwek kwek. hey jen, when ulit?

chris: chris is our queen bitch. hehe chris may have this image that says "mataray and masungit" na kagad. but when you really try to get to know her, she is actually a very nice girl. yes, girl. she's the youngest in the group and yet she's the most mature one yata. she loves beer. ask pizza hut if you want! she's one rational person. and thats good actually. she's the one who brings me back to reality. we've been through a lot already and im really happy that were still friends. dont worry chris, il always have your back.

IM YOUR GIRL. YOUR MY GIRLS. DONT YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU?

saved by bubba

we fought (AGAIN) last night but as expected... ok na kami ulit by the time we see each other again. goody!

im so sick! tangna. i hate being so sick. especially during school days. just the thought of coughing or trying to keep my runny nose from running infront of a lot of people scares me. virus! virus! virus! im so sick! uhhhhh

july 5, 2005

happy 22nd monthsary bubba. i love you

i hate ii

i hate snakes

i hate handdriers that would only work for 3 seconds after putting my hands under it.

i hate people who make up stories just to show others that they're cool. no point grabe.

i hate people who use their money just to be friends with other people. so pathetic.

i hate tinola.

i hate corned beef.

i hate breaking up with someone.

i hate rain.

i hate damp places coz thats where snakes are.

i hate songs that are full of "RAAAHHH!!!" in them.

i hate maniacs. philippines is so full of them.

i hate my arms.

i hate my legs.

i hate bumming at home.

i hate people who say stuffS! tsss.

jack of all trades

Jacquiline Therese Changco Santos

ive been friends with this girl (yes people, she's not a lesbian.. haha)for almost a decade now. some people say that friendship is not based on the amount of years you've been together but is primarily based on the things you've experienced together. i guess we have both.

J-ust not your oh-so-average-girl. jack has never been that typical kikay girl. cosmetics has never been her department. jack has always been that laidback person. she's the happy-go-lucky type you see at starbucks or cantina all the time. jack may give people the impression that she's a slacker (well..) but when you really get to know her like i did, there's more to her than what you think.
jack values her friends a lot. loyalty, well thats her department. she can be the most loyal friend you could ever have as long as you dont mess with her. she's frank most of the time but hey, thats part of the friendship thing right? her words may be mean but in truth, those words are actually the things you needed to hear.

A-total flirt! haha sorry jack! (DONT WORRY, IN TIME I'LL ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IM PACUTE)jack is a self-proclaimed flirt. it may be bad to some but pleasurable to many. (bwahahahahahahahaha) despite the fact that jack's a flirt, ive always thought that she's only waiting for the right guy to come into her life (sorry pawie)she deserves it anyway. jack, for some who may not know this, can be very sweet and "maalaga" with her special someone. to those people who just let that (that=jack's sweetness) pass, then too bad for you (sorry again pawie).

C-ant live without me! haha you better! 'cause i cant live without you. no joke.

K-ind. okay so its such a lame adjective. but she really is. she is to me! hihi

MAID to be irritating

our most recent "ex-maid" tried to spread some fucking news about me having an affair with a lesbian. thats so fucking not true. I AM SO GONNA KILL HER FOR THAT! she told my mom pa nga na i was meeting up with this "kabit" of mine every midnight onwards. thats so fucking not true!

come to think of it, it can be true, but its still soooo not true. first of all, i would not go out of my way to meet up with a lesbian! no way man! lesbians for me are those cropped gelled short haired girls with baggy pants, baggy shirts, leather shoes, and of course, who would ever forget, the clutch bag! i dig girls too but not their kind. nevah! ewww

second, even if i usually go out on takas times, i only go to sab's, to bub's, to somewhere i can eat with bub, or to some inuman. im gonna go look for her and let her suffer! now i cant do it anymore! my mom is still suspicious so she thought of keeping the key of the gate the whole night until she's up. THANKS A LOT MERCY! and to think your name is mercy! you better fucking change your name cause you are obviously not worthy of such a label! uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

believe me, im gonna look for you! uhhh!

stuff

i hate people who say stuffS!!! its stuff honey, and never stuff


average has a new name. its called NOOK. better right?

i hate

just had a fight with aidz. okay so maybe i went overboard again. but hey, im sure i didnt go waaayyyyy overboard this time.

i hate it when he doesnt make paramdam everytime he's with his friends.

i hate it when he thinks im being so childish and papansin when all i really want is for him to really listen to what im saying (saying = complaining to him).

i hate it when he doesnt understand me or my opinions.

i hate it when he'd think im being so selfish again. maybe i am. everybody is. pucha.

i hate it when i pathetically say sorry even when he's wrong.

i hate it when im so demanding. and idealistic. and pathetic. too pathetic.

i hate that i hate us fighting. cant imagine being angry for half a day. thats when i become pathetic. just to end the fight, id try anything even if he doesnt want me to do something. why cant i be just a little bit mapride sometimes?

i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.

np.

totally hassled

went to sab's house last night to do some stuff for the business (oh and yeah, we call that a business already!) guess what, we found possible sponsors na! bwahahaha and to think we've only started with some of the articles! other than that, sobrang nothingness! nothing technical was started... but were TRYING to rush things. sobrang rush! haay how i wish we could get things done by august.

sab and i were making the timetable for the 1st issue of the mag. while i was typing everything we need to do for the next month, everything suddenly sunk in. tangna we had to do all that?! pucha. i immediately asked sab to bring me home after doing the timetable. i was so hassled just by seeing everything! uhhhh....


but im still excited to do everything. hey guys, you all better grab a copy of the mag once its out alright?

i have to congatulate myself. didnt cut any of my class. so proud yet so pathetic. i know its my responsibility to come to class. really! but i guess everybody would agree when i say 'its just so hard to force yourself to go to school and when you eventually get there, youll soon realize that it was a majorly boring useless day!' and then you get to think that maybe, come next meeting, its gonna be boring again. thats why i cut. sometimes. ok so maybe most of the time. but i wanna change. i really do.

inigo advanced happy birthday!!!! love ya dude! kelan inom? thought saturday?!

average

finally. something productive. after all the plans, we now have a real "business" (if you could call it that)! finally sab, finally! its about time.

lets not get too excited yet. we have sooooo many things to do:
-permit
-sec registration
-patent
-"office" space (plus a landline, a fax...)
-publishing place
-sponsorships
-blah blah blah. can you believe it? we're so serious! tangna sometimes when i think about it, i get goosebumps. its all so surreal e.

average. thats the name of our mag. its about college people and their everyday lives. its not gonna be like a typical teeny bopper mag. dont you guys think its about time for us to start reading some realistic stuff? girls have been so obsessed with all those kikay "thingys" they read from fashion mags. guys have been so obsessed with all those naked girls who "artistically" pose for FHM. well i think its about time we read something about us and our typical, normal, AVERAGE lives as college people.

bummer. i cant start my article about marla. its so hard to write something about her! i know she's my bestfriend and all but its just so hard. i know everything about her (and literally everything) but whenever i try starting the article, im so thoughtless! gawd. i better finish this so that i can do more stuff for the mag. haha feeling.

ill be needing a super editor when it comes to my future articles. okay so i admit it na. i can be a lot barok. so? (<-ha! the ultimate expression of a defeated person)

anyway, so many things to do. i just hope everything will turn out just fine! i can feel all the fame and success already! ha! (sab dont be too stresses out, oki?)

shoutout again

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY PAPA! I LOVE YOU!


happy birthday marla, my dear bestfriend. la lang. hope you read this! i thought magpapainom ka? i was expecting that na. tsk tsk tsk


happy birthday ate karla!!!!!! i love you!


mommy and bobby advance happy birthday!

music: well rounded

people have been asking me if im gonna go to this event called FETE de la MUSIQUE. its actually a really great offer to those who really dig pinoy stuff cause there's so much for everyone going there to enjoy. there'll be different stages located around the el pueblo area. all the stages represent different types of music featuring different bands and singers from their genre. here's the different types of music featured: the undying blues, the raging rock, the fubu hiphoppers, the screaming electronica (or whatever you wanna call it), the never senseless alternative and the soulful jazz.


ahhhh. who ever came up with the idea that MUSIC BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER is such a genius! the language of the soul, if i must add. sometimes you can tell a person by the type of music he or she listens to. but thats only SOMETIMES ok. music is such a vague, peculiar thing that i cant even describe it. but i love it. its my stress reliever. my instant get away. no doubt about that.

people show their emotions through music. we cry our hearts out when that suuuupppeeerr sad (and sometimes old and pathetic) song suddenly plays on the radio during our heartbroken days as if its teasing us pa. people write those super major heart warming songs about and for their loved ones when they really feel like it. cheeziness galore. grabe i think ogie alcasid and ryan cayabyab are like the veterans already when it comes to song writing. (haha i laughed when i mentioned ogie. so pathetic. hehe)we dance when we listen to a super dancy song. we scream our lungs out when we listen to those 90's OPM songs (especially of eraseheads'. to those who dont know them and their songs, gawd our age difference must be so big!) as if noone's listening. yeah right.

different people listen to different types of music.
--->take for example my dear friend jacq. she's a certified rocker (not to mention a vocalist pa). she knows all those rock bands, even the underground ones. ive always wondered how the hell do rockers know those never-played-on-the-radio songs they listen to all the time. its like when i talk to jacq about music, we really dont have anything to talk about (unless its about spice girls, backstreet boys, etc). but let her talk about music to some rocker about their music and they'd get along pretty fine. oh, and whats with rockers and their gothic looks anyway? not really connected to "music" but what the hell. even aidz got into this genre. everytime im in his car, its all raaaaahhhh! and waaaahhhH! (love you bub!) ah, the screaming voices of rock. nothing against it. just not for me i guess. all good? all good!

--->alternative for me is way better than rock. although theyre closely related, i dont know, but alternative is.. ewan. basta. i think its better. eli is an alternative kinda guy. thats why i love listening to his cds. alternative to me has something more to give than those mushy senti sh*t. alternative is so diverse yet still specific when it comes to topics. plus! most of their lyrics are deep stuff. not just those ordinary lets-rhyme-words kind of lyrics. bands could talk about serious matters concerning life and would still manage to sound really good. gawd. isnt it obvious im such a big fan?

--->senti music. high school music. haha! when i was in high school, i was so inlove with this type of music. i guess everybody was. malamang. thats the time when you start discovering the actual feeling of falling inlove, getting hurt, blah blah blah. so malamang. its when you actually relate to a senti song that you suddenly just had to download every senti song with the same idea. haaayyy now, i only listen to these kind of stuff when im actually deppressed.

--->dancey music. trance, house, hed kandi, the likes. all in all, i remember dian. my dear dear friend dian. what can i say, dancey songs could really make you stand up and dance the night/whats left of it awaY!

--->tiff for me is the biggest fan of OPM. (tama ba tiffy?) ;) hihi i love OPM too. we've got so many pinoy talents here! gotta support them first! i love eheads. too bad theyre not together anymore. i love kitchie. i love bamboo. and mojofly. (o cge na nga) and rivermaya. not spongecola sorry (but i must admit, there songs are so singable!). fine. i love mymp also! and moonstar88 sometimes. i LOVE stonefree. and the list goes on. dont be too impressed. the list is not that long. forgive me for being too honest but i HATE radioactive sago project. i think they suck. sorry again.

--->pop culture phenomena. tsk tsk tsk. sometimes, even if the song is really good, i start hating it just because the whole "masa" loves it too. uhh. im so bad. its hard kasi when its traffic and you hear jeepneys playing your current favorite song. la lang. dont get me wrong, i love pop too. secretly nga lang sometimes. how could you say you love me? i memorized the whole thing! hehe!

--->rap/hip hop. i must admit, i loved rap before. rap and hiphop could actually be okay if only we take out all poser Filipinos who actually go out of their ways just to look like rappers also. i just hate it. those Filipinos who wear big chains, baggy everything (shirt and pants), cloth on their heads plus (take note!) fake bling blings pa! tsk tsk tsk! sorry for being so judgmental here. sorry for the nth time.


anyway, its really weird talking about music. like what i said, its so general. oh well. cant do anything anymore. gawd i gotta sleep na.

its already 4.58am. goodnight/goodmorning!

same old same old

just like any other. bummer.

school days are here once again. oh school. sometimes i just want to give up school but when i really think about it, its not as if im the only person who feels that way. thats why i stay. i often times trick myself into thinking that if i dont go to school, i wont be able to see my aidz and my friends. ay nako. the things i do to force myself to go to school.

first week. nothing really exciting. same old same old. classes first then katipunan after. see. same old same old. same familiar faces. everyday its like that. its funny actually. those people you see everyday are those people who are actually like you. bummers galore. ay nako. arent we sick of seeing each other daily?

yesterday was different though cause we watched Batman Begins. finally. grabe it was the first time i ever saw eli commute. haha. saw marco at gateway. again. haay nako. when we got back to Katipunan, my loser brother was so furious. poor him he waited for me for 2 long hours. hey, it wasnt my fault. i told them to pick me up at around 6. if was there by 6pm, he wouldve waited i guess an hour less. fuck him for shouting at me. fuck him more for shouting at me infront of my friends.

the day before yesterday (i think) me jacq and sab (as usual) had nothing to do while bumming so we did this "describe the person" kind of game/trivia/whatever. it was so fun. haha. so thats how they view me pala! by the way, I AM NOT PACUTE! never! flirt cge pero pacute.. dont think so tsongs!

today. finally. saw inigo today. and jen. gawd i miss those guys. its been awhile since i last saw them. miss my ateneo barkada!!!!! uhhhh! saw their pics nga when they were at gateway the other day. felt left out na. tsk tsk tsk. i hate feeling that pa naman. other than that, another same old same old day for me.

gawd i hope therell be something new tom. dont wanna do another same old same okd journal.

i sometimes hate being so addicted to love. see its effect on me?

to bub:

Dont say we aren't right for each other, the way i see it is.. we aren't right for anyone else

HARDEST THINGS IN LOVE?!


Being questioned when you yourself don't understand
>i know! its so hard to give aidz fast answers when i cant even understand his point. grabe. im forever slow pa naman so i tend to misinterpret most of the things he say.

Pretending to be innocent of what you know about
>NO COMMENT


Trying to show you care
>not really. when you care, you care. when you dont care anymore, you stop caring. its as simple as that. when you pretend to care for someone even if you really dont, then you're so dead. as in deader than the dead. its so hard pretending.


Trying to forget something you know you NEVER will
>its not really the forgetting thing. its the acceptance of the partner thing thats hard. i guess noone really has to forget the notorious exes. for all you know, they could possibly be one of your bestfriends once you get to know them more (with less intimacy, of course) i believe noone could really forget someone they used to love. we could all let go of them, but definitely not forget.


Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right
>so me! I HATE IT WHEN I EVENTUALLY REALIZE THAT IM WRONG. i got to, but i still hate it. thats what i hate about myself. i can be so close minded at times that id always have this notion that im always the "right". tsk tsk tsk. pathetic.


Debating with yourself
>i must admit. i always do this. "was i too insensitive again or was he too irrational? was i right or was he right? why did i fucking do such a stupid thing?!"


Knowing what's wrong and what's right
>wrong things seem to be more fun and easy but when you really love a person, youd want to do the right things all the time.


Growing up
>changes sometimes play a big big role in a relationship. its often times hard to accept people, especially the ones you love, grow and change. like me. i always want me and aidz to be in that "honeymoon stage" but obviously, things dont really end up the way you want them to be. but hey, i believe its better. our relationship has become stronger, making us more comfortable with each other, hance the not-so-honeymooney stage anymore. cant believe i used the word hence.


ACCEPTING the fact that some things are NOT meant TO BE
>i just have ti accept that fact. some things are not meant to be. i better be contented with what and who i have and honestly, i am.


Swallowing your pride when it has become TOO HARD and TOO BIG to even gulp it down with water
>ahhh pride. no pride = better relationships i guess.


Being the LAST TO KNOW about something that CONCERNS you most of all
>lies. deceptions. one lie after another. fast heartbeat. they all go together. partners should be open with anything and everything. i guess. i should work on that.


Realizing that you have taken the most IMPORTANT thing for granted
>thats why im never letting go of aidz. i dont wanna risk losing everything. i better not take him for granted. remember that kar!


PARTING with someone you've just LEARNED to LOVE
>we've all felt this. IT SUCKS BIG TIME right?!


Letting GO of someone you've LOVED ALL YOUR LIFE
>this sucks even more!


Saying sorry when you mean it
>i say sorry to aidz all the time even when i know he's the one who should be blamed for the fight. i just want to get things over with. cant stand fighting. cant we all just be malambing all the time?


Saying how you REALLY FEEL and Explaining WHERE YOU STAND
>being straight to the point is always better than making something up. if youre still inlove then let it all happen. if youre not then so be it. period.


Knowing what is best and yet doing the exact opposite.
>so me again! even if i know that the best thing to do is the only option, id still be willing to hurt myself (emotionally a) by doing the opposite. im always this pathetic with love.


Bracing yourself for the worst kind of pain & still hturting so much.
>no matter how much i cry, ill always be crying a river everytime i get hurt. as in everytime. gawd im such a crybaby.


Loving someone too much and learning to love the pain that goes with it... that even if you learned to let go of the person... you still go on missing the pain you once felt (and there it goes again... you fall
again)
>i guess its self explanatory already


Being with someone else when the right one comes along
>felt this before but now, naaahhhh

Knowing deep inside that you love someone yet you can't say it out loud
>my advice, just say it. itll end the what-if-i-told-him/her question

memories all alone in the moonlight

edwin jan gamboa tan


we now have this big space between us. sad but true. he's been my dearest bestfriend ever since me and aidz became a couple. the rest was history.


close. nah. super close. we were, and still are, super close. dont really know whats happening now but its really fucking depressing when i think of it. weve been irritating each other constantly with our own set of hirits. tsk tsk tsk. damn those hirits.

we give each other little things. little things that matter. he might not know it but everything he gave me, i appreciate them all. i could call him my dear hero (gawd such terms!). my savior (gotta let me be with my terms, really. even i feel weird using them). if i have to name every bit of favor he did for me, damn, i could write for hours and i guess i still wont be able to mention everything. no kidding. here's a few. ^one tear from my eye and its him i call. he might not give me the best of advices but he sure could listen. ^breakup=eli. in a good way that is. he helped fix every breakup i had with aidz. ^he would treat me most of the time. though there are times when he would complain about the treating thing, he'd still do it. i love that he spoils me. he better! I SPOIL HIM TOO! (he better know that!) haha! kidding aside, i love that he's always there for me. one text that im sad and he'd go to where i am. he'd give those out of this world ideas (but hey, they actually make sense). he would always explain the guys' point of view especially when me and aidz are fighting over some pathetic thing that i (as expected) started.


i keep on thinking why we fight most of the time now. its like everything i say is a way of attacking him. so not true. why is it that a lot of the things i tell him now offends him? its never my intention to hurt his feelings. really. well if i really did hurt him, im sorry. he hurts me with his hirits too. but i let them pass even if im really hurt by them. i may smile at them but im fuckin hurt deep inside. i know they're just for laughs but there are times when i really get so paranoid by them na. i just wish he'd stop those. how i wish he'd let my hirits just pass too. when you really think about it, its kinda pathetic.

it sucks that were like this. it sucks even more that i have to write something like this. i really miss hanging out with him. yosi. inom. bum. kain. laugh trip. deep shit usap. and the likes. you get the picture.

li if you're reading this, i miss you. lets stop all this na. isnt it killing you? its obviously killing me. i miss night outs with you, me, bubba dear, and bok.

memories all alone in the moonlight

Taker.Michael Acosta

well well well, due to popular demand (popular = taker), here's an ode to my dear friend Taker Acosta.



where to start? taker's this one diverse person so hard to describe i dont even know where to begin.

Taker = Laughter
he's one hellava funny guy. no really. he is. first time i met him, i never expected him to be quite the joker. thought of him as a really serious guy pa nga e. but as time passed by, pucha he sure could deliver those jokes! well enough to make me laugh even if he's only about to say something (joke man or not). right now, we're becoming close because of some inside jokes. haha. funny when we look at each other and know for sure what to laugh at already. tsk tsk tsk. bad but funny. thumbs up to ur funniness! u could do ur own stand-up comedy thing and for sure alex wouldnt stop laughing (like kanina)...

Taker = Theater Arts
there's this connection between taker's funniness to acting. they go perfectly together. when he delivers jokes, he makes sure that there's this im-not-trying-to-pull-a-joke kinda expression on his face. that actually makes the joke even funnier.

Taker = Bum
yup. he's an official self-proclaimed bum. hehe he loves bumming at katipunan with us. occasional smoker and hard drinker. right taker?

Taker = Cleanliness
you could never throw something improperly when you're with him. theres no chance in hell he'd let you throw trash improperly. take it from me. had one of his lectures about that before. grabe.

Taker = Loving
oh yeah. senti to. saw him love na. he did pretty well. period.

Taker = Sporty
he could shoot some hoops (oha ayos ba sa terms?) and play badminton really well! badminton buddy ko to. plus some other people. haha. oh and he loves playing basketball with "the carpenters". go taker "the baker!"

Taker = Friend
its been now lang since i really had the chance to know him as a friend. u know what i mean. we never had the chance to talk before. as in ung real, serious talk about life and the shit. i appreciate those talks actually.

Taker = Friend of Bubba
okay so i just have to put this. haha. taker is the good friend of my dear aidz!

Taker = Kewl
moccasins, kewl short shorts and almost knee-high socks are enough to attach the word KEWL to him!


oha taker! do you love it! hahahaha

no drive?

sabby dear, here's a reply to ur

journal...

i dont think we dont have the drive to do anything. come to think of it, we have all the drive we need to actualize something. watever that something is, we'll eventually find it.

we've done too many brainstormings already. from becoming party planners to sellers to networkers even. one thing's for sure, we're craving for something that would actually make us famous, elitista posers even. just wait. our time will come!

we're such bums we could do something productive with our oh-so-prolonged time. we just need to act on things. we gotta stop being such bums and start making something creative, fun, funky and cool!.. just like us! haha!

cant wait

killing me softly with boredom

boredom is slowly YET SURELY taking the fun out of me. im terribly unbelievably scourgingly helplessly bored!

went out with aidz yesterday to watch sin city. it was actually good! still cant get over the fact that i want aidz to call me goldy.. haha HOW I LOVE GOLDY! went to sab's place after. who else could i count on when it comes to bumness anyway? (right sab?!) we went to ukay ukay. i had to. i mean i needed to. i needed a new jacket!. hey, if other girls love their shoes, i love my jackets! cant seem to be contented with all that i have. would that make me a sinner now?! i just gotta buy a new one everytime even if its from ukay lang. thats my weakness right there, so buzz off you judgmental people!

when i got home from ukay, total boredom once again! gawd cant people just turn their houses into something more fun so that less teenagers would wanna go out?!?! i just couldnt take the boredom i get at home. its just too much. good thing eli called around 10pm i think. at around 12am, he and taker were on their way to my house. went to bubba's house after. when we got there, we did what 85% of us would normally do at home..... watch TV. we upgraded ours. we watched DVDS. wow like thats such a big thing.. ya ya so it was another bum night (midnight pala) but at least i had people with me to do that! went home around 3.30am


TODAY IS A FREAKIN BORING DAY. i stayed home the whole time! tssssss okay so its not like the end of the world but its definitely close! the freakin problem is that i couldnt do anything about it! no money, more problem! i cant go anywhere! pucha



dont get me wrong here. im not as "maalis" or "gala" as you think. just couldnt stay inside my house. hard to explain.



fuck sab. i think i better do my own hello, stranger thing.

im such a hypocrite

ok so i take back everything i said AGAIN. i love aidz. even with all his imperfections, i still love him.

li, thanks for comin' over. still know i could always count on you. sorry for the hassle. you know il always love you too! THANKS FOR THE EFFORT

pagaling nako! im gonna get my real life back! no more house bum for me!


goodbye you cruel boring life!

his sh*t is bananas! b-a-na-na-s!!!!

i now take back everything i said about aidz from my last journal. cant believe he's back to this again. i dont give a damn if he reads this.


ok sa il base our fight from an email i just got awhile ago.


8 WAYS TO HANDLE AN ARGUMENT

1. GIVE YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH SPACE TO VOICE HIS CONCERNS
im gawd damn sick cant u understand aidz? do you even care? im here all alone in my bedroom with nothing to do but blow my brains out with this role of tissue and your first concern is that stupid game of yours? how can you play dota THINKING that your SICK girlfriend is waiting for you! never asked you to come to me yesterday. all i wanted was for you to talk to me. well you did actually but we ended up fighting anyway.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
what were you trying to say anyway? look, the fact of the matter is, inuna mo yang dota mo for me and you know that. tapos today, you should have gotten here like half a day ago but nooooo... you slept all the way til 6.30pm! how concerned could you be!? i called like 100 times (both cellphone and landline) but you never answered any call. instead, you asked people to tell me that you were sleeping and that you didnt want to be bothered. wow. congrats.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
ok so i did say some nasty things. but hey, of all people, you're the king of that i guess. im sorry. some were meant to tell the truth while some were actually meant to hurt you. i really wanted to hurt you. sad but true. i just want you to feel and understand how much you hurt me. call it payback but im really really sorry. never wanted to hurt you, really.

4. Don't bring in past woes.
oh no! not bringing dota into the conversation is something il regret in the near future so id rather tell it to him over and over again until he realizes his mistakes! fuck i sound like a mother.


5. Learn to compromise.
and i always did. he does too but why cant he compromise now that im sick?


6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
this one's a fact. we're both close minded. but he gets the bigger portion of that. are men really that close minded especially when they know they're wrong? biggest flaw of men: turning the tables around on women, blaming them for the mistakes they know they did.


7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
there's no real conversation with aidz when we're both angry.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
how i wish. how i wish

some things are just for keeps

i hate being sick. my head right now throbs like it would never throb again. my body is weaker than a vegetable. okay so im exaggerating. but i really feel weak. for some reason, i cant eat that much. that sucks by the way. i cant go out. i cant play badminton. basta. it all boils down to one thing.. being sick SUCKS BIG TIME!

when im sick, thats when i actually feel more loved. thats when i feel more special. my mom asked the maid to cook every food i wanted the whole day. when i didnt eat the food i asked for, she had to order food pa. my dad's really concerned as well. everytime i bump into him he's like "are you ok na?" well then. i guess behind all our everyday fights, they really do love me.


aidz. he's such an angel. i tried to make tantrums awhile ago thinking that he wont visit me while im sick. so (as expected) the baby that i am forced me to let him go here and bring me dvds only to find out that he was planning to surprise me tomorrow. wow. thats what i get for being such a baby. ruining everybodys plan. i hatge myself. if only i waited. nevertheless, thank you for the thought bubba! CANT BE MORE THANKFUL FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO...

people can touch you're heart without you actually realizing it.

cheezy ko today. i guess thats another thing when im sick.

fast paced life of the city

here at sab's place. trapped in this cloud of smoke we all made. im so drowsy. im beginning to create this big pile tissue already. i feel bad. i think im sick. wrong timing talaga ang rain all the time. takas nanaman ako tonight and obviously the rains not cooperating! how am i gonna go home now? bummer. rain rain go away.

its been two days already that i havent had access to kuya willy, our beloved driver. forced then i was to commute. something ive been scared of my whole life. i know its practical. i know its normal. call me maarte but its not really me. but hey, i survived two straight days commuting. to and from school in fact! for some simple reason, i liked it. but i still hate it. weird but true. the feeling of stickiness and the feeling of people so unknown to me and yet very near me really sucks. though the feeling of independence overwhelms me. i could try it again and again but it shouldnt be a regular thing. id get so bummed out by then.


gotta talk to sab now.

even the best fall down sometimes

ive always thought the world is mine. not literally, of course. ive always had this idea that i could do anything i want, when i want it. nah. all crap. with all the bitching and harshness this worlds got to offer, i dont think i can. i dont think anyone can for that matter. save me from all your negative comments. according to jacq, we gotta be realistic nowadays. here i am pouring some of my frustrations out.

i envy a lot of people who actually live by their dreams. i guess reality was an asset than a liability to them. such luck. bubba's dad started from scratch and looking at where he is now, grabe, so surreal! or that girl i read in cosmo ages ago. she started out as a factory worker but because of her hardwork, she was able to make herself worth millions now. adore them , i do. HOW I WISH I COULD BE LIKE THEM. i will be. soon. but my advertising company has to wait for now. til that time comes, i guess id have to keep on falling down that pit that a lot of people before me have gone to.

to fall is to go down. for some people, falling is the start of their unexpected journey. thats the hardest part. even in relationships. falling for the person is the start of another rocky road part of your life. not that im complaining. its actually pretty good for a person, right?

how i love falling for someone. ok so i may have SOME issues when it comes to falling for only one person at a time but i think with aidz, ive "proven" myself worthy of being part of the stick-to-one gang. uhhhuuuhhh.

going back, everybody falls. noone escapes from the fall. even those jaded ones. i dont even think those jaded people are actually done with love. no no no! they may be resting (what the?). but eventually, they wont be able to stop themselves from falling. they say theyre done with love but theyre just waiting for it.

my advice? dont be afraid to fall not just in love but in anything for that matter. hey, even the best fall down sometimes..... even the stars refuse to shine... out of the back you'll fall in time.


gotta sleep. insomia is taking out the best of me already. no coherence anymore.

blankness

uhh. pathetic. i feel so pathetic. its been what, 2 days that ive been blogging more than once a day. i feel like a loser. supposed to go out tonight but the bum in me told me not to go anymore. im so fucking lazy even im irritated by it. yada yada yada. i really have to exert more effort in this.

backtrack.

played badminton today. ooohhhh finally i have something to label as my sport. finally. im getting better everytime.. i hope. played with drei taker and dian. eli japee and raymond showed up at the very last minute.

oh and i went to the ever-so-poser school we all call Miriam College. grabe. their systems so bulok they had to ask me to go back almost everyday for the past 3 damn days just because they erased some of my files! such a system. i better burn everything down so i could go back to ateneo, or at least la salle. yeah, i think i gotta do that.

yada yada yada. tangna i feel so useless right now. i shouldnt have been tamad. i shouldve gone with dian and drei. now im here infront of my laptop talking about useless shit.

well i guess i better call it a day. its 4.36am for crying out loud! tsk tsk tsk

so now you see the blankness.

im off to slumberland. see you there bub

summer's over

FUCK

summers finally over.

rain keeps falling on my head

havent been out that much yet. a person can never have too many vacations, right? too bad for me there's no way in hell am i getting some last minute beach outing. its raining like hell sometimes that you can really feel the rainy season suddenly sinking in.

i hate rain

rain is like one of my worst nightmares. it forces me to stay at home and bum by myself. no people, no fun. so damn you rain!

seduction style

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

collide

this one's for ya li! *****on our way to capones*****

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

out

SHOUTOUT!
grabe, its been awhile since i last went out. finally! the feeling of having a lot of people around you having the same excitement (or so i think) as you have really makes you crave more and more. as they say, feel the beat

actually, its been awhile since i last went out with dian eli and bub. damn. fun fun fun! I MISSED EVERYBODY ESPECIALLY ELI. for some sort of reason, our friendships back. we've been irritating each other (i think) for the past weeks and it irritates me more. oh well. were nice to each other again. haha. love oou pseudo karaoke last night inside his car.

to dian my love, everythings gonna be alright! i know they will! KAW PA!
thanks for the night. IM REALLY GONNA MISS U LOTSA LOTS! grabe... i cant even think of nightouts without you. dian = party! hihihihihihi


bubba! love you! hihi la lang

bang

Talk
finally. i faced one of the so-called consequence if my irresponsibility. grabe! i had to pay Php2000 just for two unreturned vcds! hay.... well overdue na naman ung disks since feb so i guess i really deserve that kind of punishment. i even had to withdraw money from the bank since i didnt have enough (well more of i didnt have anything at all) money awhile ago. tsk tsk tsk. the price i pay for being irresponsible. i believe theres more to come. shit.

after that, me and saby went to bang coffee. i looovveee it there! grabe it had wifi na, nice place pa! love there restrooms too. haha! i love the place sobra.. obviously.

as usual, sab and i talked about different things. just like our other conversations, we eventually talked about doing business together. well, our plans before never really evolved into what we call reality but our idea just hours ago is a sure hit! plus... whats different this time is that were gonna really push through with it.. or so i think lang... haha! but our drive to do it is a start!

Think
If a relationship ends because the person was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no you
can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a
friend. ----- SEX AND THE CITY

yosi overdose

tangna im so bored. two entries in a matter of four hours i think. its 330 already and im still pissed off. i hate computer games. i especially guys' addiction to them. i more specifically hate my bub's addiction to them. cant help it. i become this oh-so-lolaish person to him when we talk about his comp game addiction. haaayyyy.....

selfish. yah thats me. but so what. haha!

gotta stop my non sense chit chats with my laptop. the more i think about this topic the more i get pissed off. but who wouldnt? oh... here i go again..

gotta stop!

queer eye for the girl

DAMN. i need a makeover....

i need not a physical makeover (well maybe i do) but a more of an inside and out kind.... i need something that could turn my life into something meaningful, responsible, and productive. i need something that could make me realize the reality of everything -- that whatever i do, i just couldnt get everything i want.

ive always been in this stage of denial. a stage where i used to think that i could get away with everything and anything (?)like with my expenses, i tend to overspend on things even if i dont really have enough resources for them. with my stupidity, i tend to lie a lot not thinking of the consequences when i get caught. take it from me, one lie could lead to another, bigger lie. damn.

now im bombarded with all these problems that i should have dealt with a long time ago. karma. damn that. damn me. i better know how to make up for everything lost. i better gain something fast! i need a makeover!

i am barely breathing and i cant find the air.
ive come to find. i may never know.

bulacan

thoughtstrust. hard to give, hard to receive. ive been thinkin a lot about this simple word for days now. its so astonishing how one short word could end up making or breaking a lot of people's relationships. i, for one, have a problem with trust (but hey, im working on it). it just seems like with the kind of culture we have today, kids like me (yeah im still a kid!), tend to do things differently. some cheat on their loved ones. some lie to their parents (hmmmm). some lie to their friends. its everywhere! haaayyyy... the moment u give ur trust to a person, the more u become attached.
i used to cheat. a lot actually. but now that im with someone i really love, i just cant even think of doing it again. not now, at least. if i break his trust, then its gonna be hard for me to get it back again. so as to other relationships. i have this friend who once told me... "its hard to trust coz there's nothing sure in this world anymore"... true true.. but i believe its really up to us to prove that there is actually somethin trustworthy in this world of lies and deception.


eventswhata coincidence! im gonna go to bulacan later for the fiesta...just like last year, we're gonna go to ning's place. what's different this year is that my bubba is comin as well to bulacan with eli. they have a wedding to attend to. i hope they grab the chance to meet up with me and ning later around dinner time. damn im excited already!
BUB's birthday is coming up. got him two gifts already. im gonna buy him another one later. hope he'll like it. uhhhhh..... im excited for that as well! waiting for monday gives me the chills! we something for him. hope he likes it!

LINK

karkar0905.multiply.com for my snapshots

amber

it seems that when we fall, that's when we land perfectly

love. i learned, and still is learning, about love through my past (and current) relationships. having bad experiences, i believe, are actually better than not having one at all. its better to be hurt so you'll know how to deal with it the next time u fall in love, right?

lust. damn. haha

friends. the true test of friendship is not based on the length of time you were with the person. trust me, ive had these so-called friends for years and yet i can never trust them with my life. real friends are hard to distinguish from the pseudo ones but when i have the feeling that they're real to me, then i never let go.

family. no comment

school. ive fallen. real hard actually. now its time for me to get back up and make up for all the mistakes. (asus! im such a poser!)

damn paper

.. and some great need in me starts to bleed. i've lost myself there's nothing left, it's all gone..

...deep inside of you

im back!!!!

woooo hooooo!!!!! my blog is alive again!

thanks to saby, my blog can actually prove its purpose! i used to hate the pic i had for my layout (sorry saby pangit talga nung pic e. hehe). but now that saby edited everything for me, im actually ecstatic (yeah, thats the perfect adjective right now!) to be an official blogger once again!

.

because this is my first ever journal (cosnsidering that my last entry was like 6 months ago), this one is an ode to the people i consider as my dear angels.....

this is a tribute to the love of those people who really know me enough to understand, correct, accept, and go along with my actions, judgments, craziness, and criticisms. this is in honor of the people who spend countless hours listening to all the things i have to say, may they be good, bad, amusing, pathetic, overly cheesy or overly hurting.

this is for the people who always take care of me when im drunk and totally clueless of what im doing. this is for those friends who literally become my pillows when i cry myself a river may it be because of a problem or some cheesy movie i just saw(usually tagalog movies.. haha?. a big hug to those people who understand and respect my needs.

this journal goes to all those who spoil me, to those who give in to all my panlalambings just to get something. immature as i could ever be, you still give in to my desires. you call me spoiled but you never fail to spoil me. a special thank you to you guys.

to those who never underestimated me, to those who really believed in my capabilities as a person, i may not say it most of the time but its because of you guys i continue to move on. to those who never fail to tell me all the things i need to hear, i salute you for always putting my feet back on the ground.

to all of you, my dear angels, you dont usually get credit for the wonderful things you do. a toast to you all! this is your vindication!my gratitude go out to you!

family.aidz.mar.ning.eli.jack.sab.gi.taker.moch.jp.wenki.alex.jm.dian.chris.jen.tiff.bok.cousins.ateging.atekarla.anais.kei.rej.icay.jaja.jinx.pasts.drei.cha.ecai.diana.dior.chai.inigo.jodie.stc.admu.iv4.blockF.

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